RFK Jr. stunned the nation today by revealing his famously strained voice isn’t from a disorder — he just thought it made him sound more relatable. Doctors are furious. America is confused. And apparently, he sings like a damn Disney prince.

President Trump has reopened Alcatraz as TRAZ — a “definitely not-a-prison” re-education zone for the unpatriotic. Critics call it dystopian cosplay; the White House calls it “a scenic reboot for freedom-deficient Americans.”

Trump announced a plan to cut street drug prices with “Patriot Drug Outlets” and TRUMP SPEED meth, leaving experts baffled and critics stunned by the surreal proposal.

Speaker Pelosi has demonstrated a Nostradamus-level of foresight into what stocks will soar and which will tank, leading to a fortune for her and her husband.

Former Vice President Mike Pence was seen letting it all hang out with reality star Caitlyn Jenner and self-proclaimed white supremacist, Kanye West.

Former President Biden has allegedly dumped thousands of dollars of wine down the drains of Former President Obama's private residence, while claiming "The G-Men know everything!"

Negotiations reportedly stalled until President Trump sent Xi Jinping a $CHINUS mock-up on Truth Social, captioned: “Trade this, Winnie.” Rather than take offense, Xi stunned his delegation by replying with a GIF of himself as a triumphant Winnie the Pooh flexing on top of a Bitcoin chart.

The Mexican drug cartel's criminal organization has taken a firm stance on American tourism and ensures the safety of travelers to help the Mexican economy.

The last W the United States has seen, George "W" Bush throws one hell of a party. He is also incredible at beer pong despite downing 9 cans of Coors.

RFK Jr. stunned the nation today by revealing his famously strained voice isn’t from a disorder — he just thought it made him sound more relatable. Doctors are furious. America is confused. And apparently, he sings like a damn Disney prince.

President Trump has reopened Alcatraz as TRAZ — a “definitely not-a-prison” re-education zone for the unpatriotic. Critics call it dystopian cosplay; the White House calls it “a scenic reboot for freedom-deficient Americans.”

Trump announced a plan to cut street drug prices with “Patriot Drug Outlets” and TRUMP SPEED meth, leaving experts baffled and critics stunned by the surreal proposal.

Speaker Pelosi has demonstrated a Nostradamus-level of foresight into what stocks will soar and which will tank, leading to a fortune for her and her husband.

Former Vice President Mike Pence was seen letting it all hang out with reality star Caitlyn Jenner and self-proclaimed white supremacist, Kanye West.

Former President Biden has allegedly dumped thousands of dollars of wine down the drains of Former President Obama's private residence, while claiming "The G-Men know everything!"

Negotiations reportedly stalled until President Trump sent Xi Jinping a $CHINUS mock-up on Truth Social, captioned: “Trade this, Winnie.” Rather than take offense, Xi stunned his delegation by replying with a GIF of himself as a triumphant Winnie the Pooh flexing on top of a Bitcoin chart.

The Mexican drug cartel's criminal organization has taken a firm stance on American tourism and ensures the safety of travelers to help the Mexican economy.

The last W the United States has seen, George "W" Bush throws one hell of a party. He is also incredible at beer pong despite downing 9 cans of Coors.