NHL

Anaheim Ducks Hire Joel Quenneville as Head Coach, Say “Morals Are for Teams That Win”

In a stunning twist that raised eyebrows and blood pressure, the Ducks traded integrity for ambition by naming Joel Quenneville head coach.

Utah Hockey Club Finally Names Itself the “Utah Mammoth,” Boldly Declares War on Logic, Taste, and the Fossil Record

Utah finally picked a name—the Mammoth—because nothing says hockey like a giant, extinct, ice-age elephant; it’s a fucking dumb name and everyone knows it.

Anaheim Ducks Hire Joel Quenneville as Head Coach, Say “Morals Are for Teams That Win”

In a stunning twist that raised eyebrows and blood pressure, the Ducks traded integrity for ambition by naming Joel Quenneville head coach.

Utah Hockey Club Finally Names Itself the “Utah Mammoth,” Boldly Declares War on Logic, Taste, and the Fossil Record

Utah finally picked a name—the Mammoth—because nothing says hockey like a giant, extinct, ice-age elephant; it’s a fucking dumb name and everyone knows it.
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Latest News

Nation Faces Black Printer Ink Shortage as Epstein Files Are Released by Current Administration

The Trump Administration has caused a black ink shortage nationwide at the time of the release of the documentation of the infamous Jeffrey Epstein investigation.

Burger King Rebrands as ‘Burger Queen’ After Royal Fast Food Patron Accused of Visiting Epstein’s Island

The "home of the Whopper" will now have dual meaning after the King of fast food burgers has been accused of illicit behavior on Little St. James, better known as "Epstein Island".

“Five Stars. Would Get Abducted Again,” Says Man Returned By Aliens

Trevor Haskins returned after a week with extraterrestrials, calling the whole thing more vacation than abduction. Officials are baffled, neighbors are uneasy, and he’s already hoping for a return trip.

Game to “Boost Morale” While Nation Descends into Chaos

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As the federal government remains closed for the 19th consecutive day,...