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Nation Faces Black Printer Ink Shortage as Epstein Files Are Released by Current Administration

The Trump Administration has caused a black ink shortage nationwide at the time of the release of the documentation of the infamous Jeffrey Epstein investigation.
Morgan Tanner -
Republican

Republican Speaker Mike Johnson Says Recent Grindr Scandal at RNC is Fake News While Wiping Semen from Chin

RNC Chairman David Waters says that the Republican representatives forgetting to turn off their Grindr Alerts was the result of the confusing UI of iOS 26.
Morgan Tanner -
Politics

Donald Trump Shows Signs of a Stroke, Says Strokes are a Democratic Hoax, Then Blames Biden for His Stroke

Trump's health begins to decline as the President ends a press conference asking if anyone else "smells toast" before demanding his be covered in extra butter.
Morgan Tanner -
World

GOP Pushes New Legislation Lowering Age of Consent to 16, “Considerably Lower” in US Territories

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) says the bill will pass ahead of his planned trip to the Virgin Islands in a completely unrelated pre-scheduled vacation.
Morgan Tanner -
Politics

Trump: “There is No List!”, Claims Epstein Friendship Ended After Being Removed from Top 8 on Myspace in 2004

47th President Donald Trump says Epstein must have killed himself in his sleep, as he was clearly innocent since there is no "Epstein List" to speak of.
Morgan Tanner -
Science

Archaeologists Discover Great Pyramids Were Actually Ancient Power Plants Built So Egyptians Could Watch Porn in HD

Ancient Egyptian say “I’m just finishing up in here! Don’t come in!” As they watch hieroglyphic porn powdered by pyramids
Buck Drayton -
Business

TSA to End “Shoes Off” Policy After Internal Report Reveals Shockingly High Number of Agents Have a Foot Fetish

After years of questionable pat-downs and shoe-level security, the TSA is finally rethinking its approach following some deeply uncomfortable internal findings.
Jett Monument -
World

BREAKING: Jesus Has Risen! But Also Immediately Deported

The Messiah of Christianity was last seen boarding a Delta flight, flying coach to Jerusalem just before an attack from Iran radicals on the capital city of Israel. God speed, Jesus.
Morgan Tanner -
World

Operation Golden Swagger: Trump Declares ‘Mission Accomplished-ish’ After Personally Scaring Iran with Stealth, Style, and Sunglasses

Trump Bombs Iran Into Apology, Israel Claims Victory in Global Game of ‘Told You So’
Buck Drayton -
123Page 1 of 3
Republican

Nation Faces Black Printer Ink Shortage as Epstein Files Are Released by Current Administration

The Trump Administration has caused a black ink shortage nationwide at the time of the release of the documentation of the infamous Jeffrey Epstein investigation.
Morgan Tanner -
Republican

Republican Speaker Mike Johnson Says Recent Grindr Scandal at RNC is Fake News While Wiping Semen from Chin

RNC Chairman David Waters says that the Republican representatives forgetting to turn off their Grindr Alerts was the result of the confusing UI of iOS 26.
Morgan Tanner -
Politics

Donald Trump Shows Signs of a Stroke, Says Strokes are a Democratic Hoax, Then Blames Biden for His Stroke

Trump's health begins to decline as the President ends a press conference asking if anyone else "smells toast" before demanding his be covered in extra butter.
Morgan Tanner -
World

GOP Pushes New Legislation Lowering Age of Consent to 16, “Considerably Lower” in US Territories

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) says the bill will pass ahead of his planned trip to the Virgin Islands in a completely unrelated pre-scheduled vacation.
Morgan Tanner -
Politics

Trump: “There is No List!”, Claims Epstein Friendship Ended After Being Removed from Top 8 on Myspace in 2004

47th President Donald Trump says Epstein must have killed himself in his sleep, as he was clearly innocent since there is no "Epstein List" to speak of.
Morgan Tanner -
Science

Archaeologists Discover Great Pyramids Were Actually Ancient Power Plants Built So Egyptians Could Watch Porn in HD

Ancient Egyptian say “I’m just finishing up in here! Don’t come in!” As they watch hieroglyphic porn powdered by pyramids
Buck Drayton -
Business

TSA to End “Shoes Off” Policy After Internal Report Reveals Shockingly High Number of Agents Have a Foot Fetish

After years of questionable pat-downs and shoe-level security, the TSA is finally rethinking its approach following some deeply uncomfortable internal findings.
Jett Monument -
World

BREAKING: Jesus Has Risen! But Also Immediately Deported

The Messiah of Christianity was last seen boarding a Delta flight, flying coach to Jerusalem just before an attack from Iran radicals on the capital city of Israel. God speed, Jesus.
Morgan Tanner -
World

Operation Golden Swagger: Trump Declares ‘Mission Accomplished-ish’ After Personally Scaring Iran with Stealth, Style, and Sunglasses

Trump Bombs Iran Into Apology, Israel Claims Victory in Global Game of ‘Told You So’
Buck Drayton -
123Page 1 of 3
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Latest News

Republican

Nation Faces Black Printer Ink Shortage as Epstein Files Are Released by Current Administration

The Trump Administration has caused a black ink shortage nationwide at the time of the release of the documentation of the infamous Jeffrey Epstein investigation.
Business

Burger King Rebrands as ‘Burger Queen’ After Royal Fast Food Patron Accused of Visiting Epstein’s Island

The "home of the Whopper" will now have dual meaning after the King of fast food burgers has been accused of illicit behavior on Little St. James, better known as "Epstein Island".
Exclusive

“Five Stars. Would Get Abducted Again,” Says Man Returned By Aliens

Trevor Haskins returned after a week with extraterrestrials, calling the whole thing more vacation than abduction. Officials are baffled, neighbors are uneasy, and he’s already hoping for a return trip.
NEWS

Game to “Boost Morale” While Nation Descends into Chaos

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As the federal government remains closed for the 19th consecutive day,...

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