Buck Drayton

33 POSTS
Buckley “Buck” Drayton is a veteran political and business journalist with the jawline of a senator and the skepticism of someone who’s interviewed too many. Known for his blunt takes, no-frills suits, and an uncanny ability to sniff out corporate nonsense from across a boardroom, Buck delivers hard truths with harder stares. If there’s a scandal brewing, Buck’s already sipping his coffee—black, like his outlook on campaign finance reform.

Game to “Boost Morale” While Nation Descends into Chaos

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As the federal government remains closed for the 19th consecutive day,...

AMC Introduces New “Bedflix Bangers” Featuring Full Beds for Guests Who Can’t Wait to Ruin Movies with Sex

AMC revolutionizes moviegoing with new Cine-Suites—plush beds replacing seats—so guests can finally get freaky without fighting an armrest.

Nation’s Children Confirmed to Be Nighttime Demons, Experts Suggest Holy Water and Night-Locks

Children who sleepwalk are one hundred times more likely to make parents shit their pants.

Groundbreaking Study Reveals Men’s Urinal Techniques Fall Into Four Bizarre, Deeply Troubling Categories

New Study Confirms What We All Feared: There Is Absolutely No Normal Way for a Man to Use a Urinal

Archaeologists Discover Great Pyramids Were Actually Ancient Power Plants Built So Egyptians Could Watch Porn in HD

Ancient Egyptian say “I’m just finishing up in here! Don’t come in!” As they watch hieroglyphic porn powdered by pyramids

Operation Golden Swagger: Trump Declares ‘Mission Accomplished-ish’ After Personally Scaring Iran with Stealth, Style, and Sunglasses

Trump Bombs Iran Into Apology, Israel Claims Victory in Global Game of ‘Told You So’

Man Creates New Religion with AI Chatbot, Accidentally Proves All Other Religions Were Total Horseshit All Along

Local man accidentally creates a wildly popular new religion with an AI chatbot, instantly rendering 4,000 years of human spirituality obsolete

Study Finds Intelligence Directly Linked to Ass-Wiping Technique

After months of research, scientists finally identify the missing link between genius and skid marks.

Trump, Hanks, Puffy, and the CEO of Wetzel’s Pretzels All Named in “Epstein List” Released by a Heartbroken Elon Musk

“Donald Trump is nastiest skank bitch l've ever met. Do NOT trust him. He is a fugly slut!” Says Elon after revealing that President Trump in on the Epstein List.

Game to “Boost Morale” While Nation Descends into Chaos

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As the federal government remains closed for the 19th consecutive day,...

AMC Introduces New “Bedflix Bangers” Featuring Full Beds for Guests Who Can’t Wait to Ruin Movies with Sex

AMC revolutionizes moviegoing with new Cine-Suites—plush beds replacing seats—so guests can finally get freaky without fighting an armrest.

Nation’s Children Confirmed to Be Nighttime Demons, Experts Suggest Holy Water and Night-Locks

Children who sleepwalk are one hundred times more likely to make parents shit their pants.

Groundbreaking Study Reveals Men’s Urinal Techniques Fall Into Four Bizarre, Deeply Troubling Categories

New Study Confirms What We All Feared: There Is Absolutely No Normal Way for a Man to Use a Urinal

Archaeologists Discover Great Pyramids Were Actually Ancient Power Plants Built So Egyptians Could Watch Porn in HD

Ancient Egyptian say “I’m just finishing up in here! Don’t come in!” As they watch hieroglyphic porn powdered by pyramids

Operation Golden Swagger: Trump Declares ‘Mission Accomplished-ish’ After Personally Scaring Iran with Stealth, Style, and Sunglasses

Trump Bombs Iran Into Apology, Israel Claims Victory in Global Game of ‘Told You So’

Man Creates New Religion with AI Chatbot, Accidentally Proves All Other Religions Were Total Horseshit All Along

Local man accidentally creates a wildly popular new religion with an AI chatbot, instantly rendering 4,000 years of human spirituality obsolete

Study Finds Intelligence Directly Linked to Ass-Wiping Technique

After months of research, scientists finally identify the missing link between genius and skid marks.

Trump, Hanks, Puffy, and the CEO of Wetzel’s Pretzels All Named in “Epstein List” Released by a Heartbroken Elon Musk

“Donald Trump is nastiest skank bitch l've ever met. Do NOT trust him. He is a fugly slut!” Says Elon after revealing that President Trump in on the Epstein List.

Breaking

Burger King Rebrands as ‘Burger Queen’ After Royal Fast Food Patron Accused of Visiting Epstein’s Island

The "home of the Whopper" will now have dual meaning after the King of fast food burgers has been accused of illicit behavior on Little St. James, better known as "Epstein Island".

“Five Stars. Would Get Abducted Again,” Says Man Returned By Aliens

Trevor Haskins returned after a week with extraterrestrials, calling the whole thing more vacation than abduction. Officials are baffled, neighbors are uneasy, and he’s already hoping for a return trip.

Game to “Boost Morale” While Nation Descends into Chaos

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As the federal government remains closed...

AMC Introduces New “Bedflix Bangers” Featuring Full Beds for Guests Who Can’t Wait to Ruin Movies with Sex

AMC revolutionizes moviegoing with new Cine-Suites—plush beds replacing seats—so guests can finally get freaky without fighting an armrest.