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World

Operation Golden Swagger: Trump Declares ‘Mission Accomplished-ish’ After Personally Scaring Iran with Stealth, Style, and Sunglasses

Trump Bombs Iran Into Apology, Israel Claims Victory in Global Game of ‘Told You So’
Buck Drayton -
Entertainment

Trump, Hanks, Puffy, and the CEO of Wetzel’s Pretzels All Named in “Epstein List” Released by a Heartbroken Elon Musk

“Donald Trump is nastiest skank bitch l've ever met. Do NOT trust him. He is a fugly slut!” Says Elon after revealing that President Trump in on the Epstein List.
Buck Drayton -
Exclusive

Elon Musk Awarded Custody of 19-Year-Old Barron Trump Just Days After Breakup with President Trump

Just days after their highly publicized breakup, Elon Musk has secured full custody of 19-year-old Barron Trump through a little-known DOGE loophole. The President, blindsided, is reportedly fuming.
Jett Monument -
Republican

Right-Wing Grifter Charlie Kirk Says His Eyes Are So Close Together, He Uses a Monocle For Both Eyes

Alt-right grifter and MAGA youth cultist Charlie Kirk says "glasses are for liberals and beta males" while holding up a monocle that covers both eyes.
Morgan Tanner -
Business

Ivanka Trump Advocates for Mexican Immigrants, “They Make Better Handbags Than the Chinese”

First Daughter of the United States, Ivanka Trump says we should bring in more Mexican immigrants because their hands are tougher and make better quality products for her luxury handbag line.
Morgan Tanner -
Politics

Brain Worm: The Kennedy Parasite Chronicles: Chapter 1 of 3: “The Creek Awakens“

One swim in a toxic creek as a child, and RFK Jr. left with a brain worm and a lifelong Wednesday ritual.
Buck Drayton -
Business

America Ditches Penny, Embraces Half Penny Because Logic Is for Quitters

The U.S. Treasury is replacing the penny with the half penny—because nothing screams innovation like reviving a worthless coin and pretending it’s a step forward.
Jett Monument -
Entertainment

Disney Inc. Says They’ll Proceed with Thawing Walt from Cryostasis, Apparently Satisfied with Success of Nazi Uprising in America

The company says with the rise of fascism, it is time to awaken Führer Walter Adolf Disney and "Make America Goose-step Again".
Morgan Tanner -
Politics

Deep State Claims All Democrats are Lizard People, Clintons Take Offense, Pull Back Masks to Reveal Amphibian Origins

In a tune that is most accurately described equivalent to a song by Future, the Clinton's have been exposed as frog people who originate from miles beneath the earth's surface.
Morgan Tanner -
1234...7Page 3 of 7
World

Operation Golden Swagger: Trump Declares ‘Mission Accomplished-ish’ After Personally Scaring Iran with Stealth, Style, and Sunglasses

Trump Bombs Iran Into Apology, Israel Claims Victory in Global Game of ‘Told You So’
Buck Drayton -
Entertainment

Trump, Hanks, Puffy, and the CEO of Wetzel’s Pretzels All Named in “Epstein List” Released by a Heartbroken Elon Musk

“Donald Trump is nastiest skank bitch l've ever met. Do NOT trust him. He is a fugly slut!” Says Elon after revealing that President Trump in on the Epstein List.
Buck Drayton -
Exclusive

Elon Musk Awarded Custody of 19-Year-Old Barron Trump Just Days After Breakup with President Trump

Just days after their highly publicized breakup, Elon Musk has secured full custody of 19-year-old Barron Trump through a little-known DOGE loophole. The President, blindsided, is reportedly fuming.
Jett Monument -
Republican

Right-Wing Grifter Charlie Kirk Says His Eyes Are So Close Together, He Uses a Monocle For Both Eyes

Alt-right grifter and MAGA youth cultist Charlie Kirk says "glasses are for liberals and beta males" while holding up a monocle that covers both eyes.
Morgan Tanner -
Business

Ivanka Trump Advocates for Mexican Immigrants, “They Make Better Handbags Than the Chinese”

First Daughter of the United States, Ivanka Trump says we should bring in more Mexican immigrants because their hands are tougher and make better quality products for her luxury handbag line.
Morgan Tanner -
Politics

Brain Worm: The Kennedy Parasite Chronicles: Chapter 1 of 3: “The Creek Awakens“

One swim in a toxic creek as a child, and RFK Jr. left with a brain worm and a lifelong Wednesday ritual.
Buck Drayton -
Business

America Ditches Penny, Embraces Half Penny Because Logic Is for Quitters

The U.S. Treasury is replacing the penny with the half penny—because nothing screams innovation like reviving a worthless coin and pretending it’s a step forward.
Jett Monument -
Entertainment

Disney Inc. Says They’ll Proceed with Thawing Walt from Cryostasis, Apparently Satisfied with Success of Nazi Uprising in America

The company says with the rise of fascism, it is time to awaken Führer Walter Adolf Disney and "Make America Goose-step Again".
Morgan Tanner -
Politics

Deep State Claims All Democrats are Lizard People, Clintons Take Offense, Pull Back Masks to Reveal Amphibian Origins

In a tune that is most accurately described equivalent to a song by Future, the Clinton's have been exposed as frog people who originate from miles beneath the earth's surface.
Morgan Tanner -
1234...7Page 3 of 7
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Latest News

Republican

Nation Faces Black Printer Ink Shortage as Epstein Files Are Released by Current Administration

The Trump Administration has caused a black ink shortage nationwide at the time of the release of the documentation of the infamous Jeffrey Epstein investigation.
Business

Burger King Rebrands as ‘Burger Queen’ After Royal Fast Food Patron Accused of Visiting Epstein’s Island

The "home of the Whopper" will now have dual meaning after the King of fast food burgers has been accused of illicit behavior on Little St. James, better known as "Epstein Island".
Exclusive

“Five Stars. Would Get Abducted Again,” Says Man Returned By Aliens

Trevor Haskins returned after a week with extraterrestrials, calling the whole thing more vacation than abduction. Officials are baffled, neighbors are uneasy, and he’s already hoping for a return trip.
NEWS

Game to “Boost Morale” While Nation Descends into Chaos

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As the federal government remains closed for the 19th consecutive day,...

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