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GOP Pushes New Legislation Lowering Age of Consent to 16, “Considerably Lower” in US Territories

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) says the bill will pass ahead of his planned trip to the Virgin Islands in a completely unrelated pre-scheduled vacation.

Fox News Rebrands as Liberal Outlet After Trump Backlash, Replaces Entire Lineup with Democrats and Progressives

In an unexpected ideological overhaul, the once far-right-leaning network is embracing a new political direction, leaving longtime viewers stunned and party lines blurred.

Trump Signs Executive Order Allowing Him Entry Into Any Women’s Locker or Changing Room at Any Time

"These locker rooms are supposed to be a safe place. And to keep them safe, I need to be there to stop filthy democrats from walking in whenever they want." -President Trump

Trump to Sue ABC, CBS, FOX, NAACP, NHL, The MIB, PBS, S.H.I.E.L.D., WNBA, and Others Amidst Epstein Files Scandal

Trump is furious with all acronyms in the media after they all seemingly report on irrefutable evidence that Trump owned a time share on Epstein Island.

U.S. Government Announces Plan to Erase National Debt by Selling Naming Rights to States, Parks, Buildings and National Monuments

A sweeping government move is set to redefine the nation's most recognizable places. With corporate deals on the table and tradition up for negotiation, even history isn’t safe from rebranding.

Trump: “There is No List!”, Claims Epstein Friendship Ended After Being Removed from Top 8 on Myspace in 2004

47th President Donald Trump says Epstein must have killed himself in his sleep, as he was clearly innocent since there is no "Epstein List" to speak of.

Trump Convinced Russia Is Run by Gremlins, No One in His Administration Has the Will to Tell Him Otherwise

Everyone knows the Kremlin isn’t the Gremlins. Everyone except the president, who’s now basing foreign policy on the mix-up.

President Trump Does an Undercover Boss at “Alligator Alcatraz,” Secretly Oversees Opening Day While Complaining No One Recognized Him

President Trump went undercover at the opening day of Alligator Alcatraz and immediately blew his cover because no one recognized him and his ego couldn’t handle it.

BREAKING: Jesus Has Risen! But Also Immediately Deported

The Messiah of Christianity was last seen boarding a Delta flight, flying coach to Jerusalem just before an attack from Iran radicals on the capital city of Israel. God speed, Jesus.

GOP Pushes New Legislation Lowering Age of Consent to 16, “Considerably Lower” in US Territories

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) says the bill will pass ahead of his planned trip to the Virgin Islands in a completely unrelated pre-scheduled vacation.

Fox News Rebrands as Liberal Outlet After Trump Backlash, Replaces Entire Lineup with Democrats and Progressives

In an unexpected ideological overhaul, the once far-right-leaning network is embracing a new political direction, leaving longtime viewers stunned and party lines blurred.

Trump Signs Executive Order Allowing Him Entry Into Any Women’s Locker or Changing Room at Any Time

"These locker rooms are supposed to be a safe place. And to keep them safe, I need to be there to stop filthy democrats from walking in whenever they want." -President Trump

Trump to Sue ABC, CBS, FOX, NAACP, NHL, The MIB, PBS, S.H.I.E.L.D., WNBA, and Others Amidst Epstein Files Scandal

Trump is furious with all acronyms in the media after they all seemingly report on irrefutable evidence that Trump owned a time share on Epstein Island.

U.S. Government Announces Plan to Erase National Debt by Selling Naming Rights to States, Parks, Buildings and National Monuments

A sweeping government move is set to redefine the nation's most recognizable places. With corporate deals on the table and tradition up for negotiation, even history isn’t safe from rebranding.

Trump: “There is No List!”, Claims Epstein Friendship Ended After Being Removed from Top 8 on Myspace in 2004

47th President Donald Trump says Epstein must have killed himself in his sleep, as he was clearly innocent since there is no "Epstein List" to speak of.

Trump Convinced Russia Is Run by Gremlins, No One in His Administration Has the Will to Tell Him Otherwise

Everyone knows the Kremlin isn’t the Gremlins. Everyone except the president, who’s now basing foreign policy on the mix-up.

President Trump Does an Undercover Boss at “Alligator Alcatraz,” Secretly Oversees Opening Day While Complaining No One Recognized Him

President Trump went undercover at the opening day of Alligator Alcatraz and immediately blew his cover because no one recognized him and his ego couldn’t handle it.

BREAKING: Jesus Has Risen! But Also Immediately Deported

The Messiah of Christianity was last seen boarding a Delta flight, flying coach to Jerusalem just before an attack from Iran radicals on the capital city of Israel. God speed, Jesus.
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Latest News

Nation Faces Black Printer Ink Shortage as Epstein Files Are Released by Current Administration

The Trump Administration has caused a black ink shortage nationwide at the time of the release of the documentation of the infamous Jeffrey Epstein investigation.

Burger King Rebrands as ‘Burger Queen’ After Royal Fast Food Patron Accused of Visiting Epstein’s Island

The "home of the Whopper" will now have dual meaning after the King of fast food burgers has been accused of illicit behavior on Little St. James, better known as "Epstein Island".

“Five Stars. Would Get Abducted Again,” Says Man Returned By Aliens

Trevor Haskins returned after a week with extraterrestrials, calling the whole thing more vacation than abduction. Officials are baffled, neighbors are uneasy, and he’s already hoping for a return trip.

Game to “Boost Morale” While Nation Descends into Chaos

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As the federal government remains closed for the 19th consecutive day,...