Got a tip? Call (202)-456-1111
Email Us
Search
instagramreddittiktoktwitter

Morgan Tanner

53 POSTS
Morgan "TruthHammer" Tanner, a grizzled vet with a thigh full of shrapnel and a garage full of conspiracy, now fights his deadliest foe: the mainstream media. Armed with a deep suspicion of anything ending in ".gov," he declares, “My scars are my resume.” Between rants on lizard overlords and 5G brain rays, he reminds readers that “real patriots fact-check with their hearts.”
Republican

Donald Trump Signs Executive Order to Bring Orange Makeup Manufacturing Back to America

Donald Trump aims his tariff cannon at the world but turns his sights away from Indonesia where they produce the fine orange powder he puts on his face.
Morgan Tanner -
Republican

Lauren Boebert Demands Marjorie Taylor Greene Prove Gender After Run-In at Courthouse Women’s Restroom

Colorado Rep. Lauren Boebert claims Georgia Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene should be "deported" if Greene can't prove she is a biological female after bathroom mix-up.
Morgan Tanner -
MLB

Shohei Ohtani $700m Contract in Jeopardy After Background Check Reveals True Identity as Korean-American Larry Wilson from Milwaukee

Ohtani says the whole thing is one big multi-million dollar misunderstanding and claims he tried telling people he was born in Wisconsin to South Korean immigrants but no one wanted to listen.
Morgan Tanner -
Business

Elon Musk Seen Burning Down Tesla Dealership Hours Before Claiming Left-Wing Woke Mind Virus Made Him Do It

Tesla CEO Elon Musk crashes out and allegedly torches his own dealership, despite half the vehicles already on fire due to numerous malfunctions and botched software updates.
Morgan Tanner -
Finance

Apple Shares Surge After Tim Cook Reveals Next iPhone Will Have 6 Camera Lenses

Apple CEO Tim Cook says that the next iPhone will truly blow the minds of their uses with no new features except for six camera lenses on the back that do absolutely nothing.
Morgan Tanner -
Democrat

Nancy Pelosi Votes Against Stock Trade Exclusion Bill for Politicians, Says Insider Trading Meeting She Had Before Lunch Will Help Husband’s Portfolio

Speaker Pelosi has demonstrated a Nostradamus-level of foresight into what stocks will soar and which will tank, leading to a fortune for her and her husband.
Morgan Tanner -
Democrat

Former President Obama Says Biden Won’t Stop Showing Up in the Middle of the Night Yelling About Prohibition

Former President Biden has allegedly dumped thousands of dollars of wine down the drains of Former President Obama's private residence, while claiming "The G-Men know everything!"
Morgan Tanner -
World

Mexican Drug Cartels Encourage American Tourism, Promise They Won’t Kidnap or Dismember You

The Mexican drug cartel's criminal organization has taken a firm stance on American tourism and ensures the safety of travelers to help the Mexican economy.
Morgan Tanner -
Sports

WNBA Experiences Record-Breaking Ticket Sales in Upcoming 2025 Championship After Filling One Full Row of Seats

The WNBA is about to have its biggest audience yet as dozens of tickets are being sold ahead of the upcoming 2025 championship game between the Milwaukee Roosters and the San Antonio Sparkling Ponies.
Morgan Tanner -
1...3456Page 4 of 6
Republican

Donald Trump Signs Executive Order to Bring Orange Makeup Manufacturing Back to America

Donald Trump aims his tariff cannon at the world but turns his sights away from Indonesia where they produce the fine orange powder he puts on his face.
Morgan Tanner -
Republican

Lauren Boebert Demands Marjorie Taylor Greene Prove Gender After Run-In at Courthouse Women’s Restroom

Colorado Rep. Lauren Boebert claims Georgia Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene should be "deported" if Greene can't prove she is a biological female after bathroom mix-up.
Morgan Tanner -
MLB

Shohei Ohtani $700m Contract in Jeopardy After Background Check Reveals True Identity as Korean-American Larry Wilson from Milwaukee

Ohtani says the whole thing is one big multi-million dollar misunderstanding and claims he tried telling people he was born in Wisconsin to South Korean immigrants but no one wanted to listen.
Morgan Tanner -
Business

Elon Musk Seen Burning Down Tesla Dealership Hours Before Claiming Left-Wing Woke Mind Virus Made Him Do It

Tesla CEO Elon Musk crashes out and allegedly torches his own dealership, despite half the vehicles already on fire due to numerous malfunctions and botched software updates.
Morgan Tanner -
Finance

Apple Shares Surge After Tim Cook Reveals Next iPhone Will Have 6 Camera Lenses

Apple CEO Tim Cook says that the next iPhone will truly blow the minds of their uses with no new features except for six camera lenses on the back that do absolutely nothing.
Morgan Tanner -
Democrat

Nancy Pelosi Votes Against Stock Trade Exclusion Bill for Politicians, Says Insider Trading Meeting She Had Before Lunch Will Help Husband’s Portfolio

Speaker Pelosi has demonstrated a Nostradamus-level of foresight into what stocks will soar and which will tank, leading to a fortune for her and her husband.
Morgan Tanner -
Democrat

Former President Obama Says Biden Won’t Stop Showing Up in the Middle of the Night Yelling About Prohibition

Former President Biden has allegedly dumped thousands of dollars of wine down the drains of Former President Obama's private residence, while claiming "The G-Men know everything!"
Morgan Tanner -
World

Mexican Drug Cartels Encourage American Tourism, Promise They Won’t Kidnap or Dismember You

The Mexican drug cartel's criminal organization has taken a firm stance on American tourism and ensures the safety of travelers to help the Mexican economy.
Morgan Tanner -
Sports

WNBA Experiences Record-Breaking Ticket Sales in Upcoming 2025 Championship After Filling One Full Row of Seats

The WNBA is about to have its biggest audience yet as dozens of tickets are being sold ahead of the upcoming 2025 championship game between the Milwaukee Roosters and the San Antonio Sparkling Ponies.
Morgan Tanner -
1...3456Page 4 of 6

Breaking

Burger King Rebrands as ‘Burger Queen’ After Royal Fast Food Patron Accused of Visiting Epstein’s Island

Business 0
The "home of the Whopper" will now have dual meaning after the King of fast food burgers has been accused of illicit behavior on Little St. James, better known as "Epstein Island".

“Five Stars. Would Get Abducted Again,” Says Man Returned By Aliens

Exclusive 0
Trevor Haskins returned after a week with extraterrestrials, calling the whole thing more vacation than abduction. Officials are baffled, neighbors are uneasy, and he’s already hoping for a return trip.

Game to “Boost Morale” While Nation Descends into Chaos

NEWS 0
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As the federal government remains closed...

AMC Introduces New “Bedflix Bangers” Featuring Full Beds for Guests Who Can’t Wait to Ruin Movies with Sex

Entertainment 0
AMC revolutionizes moviegoing with new Cine-Suites—plush beds replacing seats—so guests can finally get freaky without fighting an armrest.

DISCLAIMER: This website is a parody and purely satirical. Almost nothing here is true. It’s nearly all made up and should not be taken seriously. Any resemblance to real people and events are either coincidental or hilariously intentional.

Subscribe

To get email updates from Today News.

© 2025 Fuck My Asshole News Network. A Fuck My Asshole Company. All Rights Reserved.
FMA News™ & © 2025 Fuck My Asshole News Network.