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Morgan Tanner

53 POSTS
Morgan "TruthHammer" Tanner, a grizzled vet with a thigh full of shrapnel and a garage full of conspiracy, now fights his deadliest foe: the mainstream media. Armed with a deep suspicion of anything ending in ".gov," he declares, “My scars are my resume.” Between rants on lizard overlords and 5G brain rays, he reminds readers that “real patriots fact-check with their hearts.”
Entertainment

Barry Keoghan to Play Ellen DeGeneres in New Biopic “Degenerate”

DeGeneres says Keoghan's performance as Joker in Matt Reeves' The Batman sold her on him taking the role of her life.
Morgan Tanner -
Science

“Female Orgasm a Myth”, Says Trump Administration’s Head of Sexual Education and Wellness

Head of Sexual Education and Wellness, Dr. Randy P. Whetstone, says that the female orgasm is fictional nonsense created by the woke mainstream liberal media to make white men feel bad about themselves.
Morgan Tanner -
Entertainment

Hilary Duff is Returning to Music After 10 Years, Says Her New Single ‘Heil Hitler’ is Better Than Kanye’s

Disney Channel Original Movie 'My Dog is My Mom' star Hilary Duff says that her song about "Das Führer" is about finding light in the darkness and will uplift the hearts of Agent Cody Banks fans everywhere.
Morgan Tanner -
Science

RFK Jr.’s Brain Worm Not Actually Dead, Speaks to Him Telepathically About Letting Children Contract Measles

Kennedy's brain worm is alive and ready to dominate the greatest country in the world, starting with Texas, the most anti-vaccinated region in the world.
Morgan Tanner -
Science

Actress & Pseudoscientist Gwyneth Paltrow Says Shoving Used Tea Bags Up Your Ass Absorbs Colon Cancer Cells

Mediocre actress and founder of Goop, Gwyneth Paltrow says that the cure for cancer can be found in the aisles of your local Whole Foods.
Morgan Tanner -
Politics

Donald Trump Condemns Hillary Clinton for Accepting Political Gifts While Aboard New Boeing 747 from Kelly Ortberg

President Trump says that his acceptance of planes as gifts are hardly against the Constitution because it was written before planes were invented and therefore are exempt.
Morgan Tanner -
Science

US Secretary of Health Robert F Kennedy Jr. Says “Vaccines Cause Autism but Heroin Builds Character”

RFK Jr. says he doesn't trust the government putting "foreign substances" in his body but if you know where to find "premo Colombian heroin", then that's a different story.
Morgan Tanner -
Politics

Trump Vows to Do Better After Visit from Ghost of Christmas Future that May Have Just Been Mitch McConnell

President Donald Trump says he was told to stop being such a piece of shit by a ghost at his bedside who resembles Republican Senator McConnell (KY).
Morgan Tanner -
Entertainment

RFK Jr. Claims Dragons, Orcs, Elves are “Very Real” After Bumping into Warwick Davis at Downtown Applebee’s

RFK Jr.’s encounter with actor Warwick Davis at a local Applebee's resulted in a declaration that a task force is to look into the existence of mythological beings immediately.
Morgan Tanner -
1234...6Page 3 of 6
Entertainment

Barry Keoghan to Play Ellen DeGeneres in New Biopic “Degenerate”

DeGeneres says Keoghan's performance as Joker in Matt Reeves' The Batman sold her on him taking the role of her life.
Morgan Tanner -
Science

“Female Orgasm a Myth”, Says Trump Administration’s Head of Sexual Education and Wellness

Head of Sexual Education and Wellness, Dr. Randy P. Whetstone, says that the female orgasm is fictional nonsense created by the woke mainstream liberal media to make white men feel bad about themselves.
Morgan Tanner -
Entertainment

Hilary Duff is Returning to Music After 10 Years, Says Her New Single ‘Heil Hitler’ is Better Than Kanye’s

Disney Channel Original Movie 'My Dog is My Mom' star Hilary Duff says that her song about "Das Führer" is about finding light in the darkness and will uplift the hearts of Agent Cody Banks fans everywhere.
Morgan Tanner -
Science

RFK Jr.’s Brain Worm Not Actually Dead, Speaks to Him Telepathically About Letting Children Contract Measles

Kennedy's brain worm is alive and ready to dominate the greatest country in the world, starting with Texas, the most anti-vaccinated region in the world.
Morgan Tanner -
Science

Actress & Pseudoscientist Gwyneth Paltrow Says Shoving Used Tea Bags Up Your Ass Absorbs Colon Cancer Cells

Mediocre actress and founder of Goop, Gwyneth Paltrow says that the cure for cancer can be found in the aisles of your local Whole Foods.
Morgan Tanner -
Politics

Donald Trump Condemns Hillary Clinton for Accepting Political Gifts While Aboard New Boeing 747 from Kelly Ortberg

President Trump says that his acceptance of planes as gifts are hardly against the Constitution because it was written before planes were invented and therefore are exempt.
Morgan Tanner -
Science

US Secretary of Health Robert F Kennedy Jr. Says “Vaccines Cause Autism but Heroin Builds Character”

RFK Jr. says he doesn't trust the government putting "foreign substances" in his body but if you know where to find "premo Colombian heroin", then that's a different story.
Morgan Tanner -
Politics

Trump Vows to Do Better After Visit from Ghost of Christmas Future that May Have Just Been Mitch McConnell

President Donald Trump says he was told to stop being such a piece of shit by a ghost at his bedside who resembles Republican Senator McConnell (KY).
Morgan Tanner -
Entertainment

RFK Jr. Claims Dragons, Orcs, Elves are “Very Real” After Bumping into Warwick Davis at Downtown Applebee’s

RFK Jr.’s encounter with actor Warwick Davis at a local Applebee's resulted in a declaration that a task force is to look into the existence of mythological beings immediately.
Morgan Tanner -
1234...6Page 3 of 6

Breaking

Burger King Rebrands as ‘Burger Queen’ After Royal Fast Food Patron Accused of Visiting Epstein’s Island

Business 0
The "home of the Whopper" will now have dual meaning after the King of fast food burgers has been accused of illicit behavior on Little St. James, better known as "Epstein Island".

“Five Stars. Would Get Abducted Again,” Says Man Returned By Aliens

Exclusive 0
Trevor Haskins returned after a week with extraterrestrials, calling the whole thing more vacation than abduction. Officials are baffled, neighbors are uneasy, and he’s already hoping for a return trip.

Game to “Boost Morale” While Nation Descends into Chaos

NEWS 0
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As the federal government remains closed...

AMC Introduces New “Bedflix Bangers” Featuring Full Beds for Guests Who Can’t Wait to Ruin Movies with Sex

Entertainment 0
AMC revolutionizes moviegoing with new Cine-Suites—plush beds replacing seats—so guests can finally get freaky without fighting an armrest.

DISCLAIMER: This website is a parody and purely satirical. Almost nothing here is true. It’s nearly all made up and should not be taken seriously. Any resemblance to real people and events are either coincidental or hilariously intentional.

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