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Morgan Tanner

53 POSTS
Morgan "TruthHammer" Tanner, a grizzled vet with a thigh full of shrapnel and a garage full of conspiracy, now fights his deadliest foe: the mainstream media. Armed with a deep suspicion of anything ending in ".gov," he declares, “My scars are my resume.” Between rants on lizard overlords and 5G brain rays, he reminds readers that “real patriots fact-check with their hearts.”
Politics

Trump Signs Executive Order Allowing Him Entry Into Any Women’s Locker or Changing Room at Any Time

"These locker rooms are supposed to be a safe place. And to keep them safe, I need to be there to stop filthy democrats from walking in whenever they want." -President Trump
Morgan Tanner -
Politics

Trump to Sue ABC, CBS, FOX, NAACP, NHL, The MIB, PBS, S.H.I.E.L.D., WNBA, and Others Amidst Epstein Files Scandal

Trump is furious with all acronyms in the media after they all seemingly report on irrefutable evidence that Trump owned a time share on Epstein Island.
Morgan Tanner -
Politics

Trump: “There is No List!”, Claims Epstein Friendship Ended After Being Removed from Top 8 on Myspace in 2004

47th President Donald Trump says Epstein must have killed himself in his sleep, as he was clearly innocent since there is no "Epstein List" to speak of.
Morgan Tanner -
World

BREAKING: Jesus Has Risen! But Also Immediately Deported

The Messiah of Christianity was last seen boarding a Delta flight, flying coach to Jerusalem just before an attack from Iran radicals on the capital city of Israel. God speed, Jesus.
Morgan Tanner -
Republican

Right-Wing Grifter Charlie Kirk Says His Eyes Are So Close Together, He Uses a Monocle For Both Eyes

Alt-right grifter and MAGA youth cultist Charlie Kirk says "glasses are for liberals and beta males" while holding up a monocle that covers both eyes.
Morgan Tanner -
Business

Ivanka Trump Advocates for Mexican Immigrants, “They Make Better Handbags Than the Chinese”

First Daughter of the United States, Ivanka Trump says we should bring in more Mexican immigrants because their hands are tougher and make better quality products for her luxury handbag line.
Morgan Tanner -
Entertainment

Kanye West Announces He Has Converted to Judaism, Can Now Use Jewish Slurs with Impunity

Rapper and Nazi memorabilia mogul Kanye West says that he is now a double-minority class and that Adidas can't do shit about what he says after converting to Judaism.
Morgan Tanner -
Entertainment

Disney Inc. Says They’ll Proceed with Thawing Walt from Cryostasis, Apparently Satisfied with Success of Nazi Uprising in America

The company says with the rise of fascism, it is time to awaken Führer Walter Adolf Disney and "Make America Goose-step Again".
Morgan Tanner -
Politics

Deep State Claims All Democrats are Lizard People, Clintons Take Offense, Pull Back Masks to Reveal Amphibian Origins

In a tune that is most accurately described equivalent to a song by Future, the Clinton's have been exposed as frog people who originate from miles beneath the earth's surface.
Morgan Tanner -
123...6Page 2 of 6
Politics

Trump Signs Executive Order Allowing Him Entry Into Any Women’s Locker or Changing Room at Any Time

"These locker rooms are supposed to be a safe place. And to keep them safe, I need to be there to stop filthy democrats from walking in whenever they want." -President Trump
Morgan Tanner -
Politics

Trump to Sue ABC, CBS, FOX, NAACP, NHL, The MIB, PBS, S.H.I.E.L.D., WNBA, and Others Amidst Epstein Files Scandal

Trump is furious with all acronyms in the media after they all seemingly report on irrefutable evidence that Trump owned a time share on Epstein Island.
Morgan Tanner -
Politics

Trump: “There is No List!”, Claims Epstein Friendship Ended After Being Removed from Top 8 on Myspace in 2004

47th President Donald Trump says Epstein must have killed himself in his sleep, as he was clearly innocent since there is no "Epstein List" to speak of.
Morgan Tanner -
World

BREAKING: Jesus Has Risen! But Also Immediately Deported

The Messiah of Christianity was last seen boarding a Delta flight, flying coach to Jerusalem just before an attack from Iran radicals on the capital city of Israel. God speed, Jesus.
Morgan Tanner -
Republican

Right-Wing Grifter Charlie Kirk Says His Eyes Are So Close Together, He Uses a Monocle For Both Eyes

Alt-right grifter and MAGA youth cultist Charlie Kirk says "glasses are for liberals and beta males" while holding up a monocle that covers both eyes.
Morgan Tanner -
Business

Ivanka Trump Advocates for Mexican Immigrants, “They Make Better Handbags Than the Chinese”

First Daughter of the United States, Ivanka Trump says we should bring in more Mexican immigrants because their hands are tougher and make better quality products for her luxury handbag line.
Morgan Tanner -
Entertainment

Kanye West Announces He Has Converted to Judaism, Can Now Use Jewish Slurs with Impunity

Rapper and Nazi memorabilia mogul Kanye West says that he is now a double-minority class and that Adidas can't do shit about what he says after converting to Judaism.
Morgan Tanner -
Entertainment

Disney Inc. Says They’ll Proceed with Thawing Walt from Cryostasis, Apparently Satisfied with Success of Nazi Uprising in America

The company says with the rise of fascism, it is time to awaken Führer Walter Adolf Disney and "Make America Goose-step Again".
Morgan Tanner -
Politics

Deep State Claims All Democrats are Lizard People, Clintons Take Offense, Pull Back Masks to Reveal Amphibian Origins

In a tune that is most accurately described equivalent to a song by Future, the Clinton's have been exposed as frog people who originate from miles beneath the earth's surface.
Morgan Tanner -
123...6Page 2 of 6

Breaking

Burger King Rebrands as ‘Burger Queen’ After Royal Fast Food Patron Accused of Visiting Epstein’s Island

Business 0
The "home of the Whopper" will now have dual meaning after the King of fast food burgers has been accused of illicit behavior on Little St. James, better known as "Epstein Island".

“Five Stars. Would Get Abducted Again,” Says Man Returned By Aliens

Exclusive 0
Trevor Haskins returned after a week with extraterrestrials, calling the whole thing more vacation than abduction. Officials are baffled, neighbors are uneasy, and he’s already hoping for a return trip.

Game to “Boost Morale” While Nation Descends into Chaos

NEWS 0
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As the federal government remains closed...

AMC Introduces New “Bedflix Bangers” Featuring Full Beds for Guests Who Can’t Wait to Ruin Movies with Sex

Entertainment 0
AMC revolutionizes moviegoing with new Cine-Suites—plush beds replacing seats—so guests can finally get freaky without fighting an armrest.

DISCLAIMER: This website is a parody and purely satirical. Almost nothing here is true. It’s nearly all made up and should not be taken seriously. Any resemblance to real people and events are either coincidental or hilariously intentional.

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