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Morgan Tanner

53 POSTS
Morgan "TruthHammer" Tanner, a grizzled vet with a thigh full of shrapnel and a garage full of conspiracy, now fights his deadliest foe: the mainstream media. Armed with a deep suspicion of anything ending in ".gov," he declares, “My scars are my resume.” Between rants on lizard overlords and 5G brain rays, he reminds readers that “real patriots fact-check with their hearts.”
Republican

“George W Bush Throws the Best D.C. Parties”, Says former Epstein Staffer

The last W the United States has seen, George "W" Bush throws one hell of a party. He is also incredible at beer pong despite downing 9 cans of Coors.
Morgan Tanner -
Entertainment

Jeffrey Epstein Did Not Commit Suicide, says Trump Administration, “He Tripped and Accidentally Hung Himself”

Jeffrey Epstein did not kill himself but simply slipped, wrapped a sheet around his own neck, accidentally fashioned it into a noose, and mistakenly hung it from the ceiling.
Morgan Tanner -
Entertainment

Kanye West Takes Credit For White Theme at Diddy “Freak Off” Party

Kanye West took a break from referring to himself as a "Nazi" and talking about his gay incestuous relationship with his cousin to take credit for the theme of Diddy's controversial "Freak Offs".
Morgan Tanner -
Entertainment

Billionaire Jeff Bezos Says No Amount of Money Can Buy Enough Plastic Surgery to Make Fiancée Look Human

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos seems to be on a mission to make his wife look less like a human and more like one of the Muppets.
Morgan Tanner -
Business

Mark Zuckerberg Confused by Elon Musk’s Desires for Brain Chip, Says He’s Still Trying to Understand Being a Human

Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg doesn't see the point in Musk's attempts to make human beings more synthetic. Zuck says he still struggles with understanding things human people do.
Morgan Tanner -
Entertainment

Katy Perry Says Her Upcoming OceanGate Deep-Sea Submersible Voyage is Next Big Frontier for All Women Everywhere

Washed up pop icon Katy Perry is confused as to why people aren't celebrating her achievement of paying for a Blue Origin flight. Says the "blue ocean" is next big frontier for lower class moms everywhere.
Morgan Tanner -
Business

Elon Musk Considering Leaving Tesla to Focus on Lying About Being Good at Path of Exile 2 Full-Time

After admitting to boosting his PoE2 account by paying a 12-year-old kid from Beijing to play on his behalf, the billionaire says he is ready to continue to lie about it as a full-time career path.
Morgan Tanner -
Republican

Tucker Carlson Rants About More Shit That’s Easily Proven False

Heir to the Swanson family fortune, Tucker Carlson continues to lie about everything because "fuck it, I am rich. What does any of this matter?"
Morgan Tanner -
Republican

Marjorie Taylor Greene Continues Plastic Surgery to Look More Like Baseball Mitt

The most useless representative in America, conspiracy theorist Marjorie Taylor Greene says replacing skin with cowhide leather is the future of beauty.
Morgan Tanner -
1...456Page 5 of 6
Republican

“George W Bush Throws the Best D.C. Parties”, Says former Epstein Staffer

The last W the United States has seen, George "W" Bush throws one hell of a party. He is also incredible at beer pong despite downing 9 cans of Coors.
Morgan Tanner -
Entertainment

Jeffrey Epstein Did Not Commit Suicide, says Trump Administration, “He Tripped and Accidentally Hung Himself”

Jeffrey Epstein did not kill himself but simply slipped, wrapped a sheet around his own neck, accidentally fashioned it into a noose, and mistakenly hung it from the ceiling.
Morgan Tanner -
Entertainment

Kanye West Takes Credit For White Theme at Diddy “Freak Off” Party

Kanye West took a break from referring to himself as a "Nazi" and talking about his gay incestuous relationship with his cousin to take credit for the theme of Diddy's controversial "Freak Offs".
Morgan Tanner -
Entertainment

Billionaire Jeff Bezos Says No Amount of Money Can Buy Enough Plastic Surgery to Make Fiancée Look Human

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos seems to be on a mission to make his wife look less like a human and more like one of the Muppets.
Morgan Tanner -
Business

Mark Zuckerberg Confused by Elon Musk’s Desires for Brain Chip, Says He’s Still Trying to Understand Being a Human

Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg doesn't see the point in Musk's attempts to make human beings more synthetic. Zuck says he still struggles with understanding things human people do.
Morgan Tanner -
Entertainment

Katy Perry Says Her Upcoming OceanGate Deep-Sea Submersible Voyage is Next Big Frontier for All Women Everywhere

Washed up pop icon Katy Perry is confused as to why people aren't celebrating her achievement of paying for a Blue Origin flight. Says the "blue ocean" is next big frontier for lower class moms everywhere.
Morgan Tanner -
Business

Elon Musk Considering Leaving Tesla to Focus on Lying About Being Good at Path of Exile 2 Full-Time

After admitting to boosting his PoE2 account by paying a 12-year-old kid from Beijing to play on his behalf, the billionaire says he is ready to continue to lie about it as a full-time career path.
Morgan Tanner -
Republican

Tucker Carlson Rants About More Shit That’s Easily Proven False

Heir to the Swanson family fortune, Tucker Carlson continues to lie about everything because "fuck it, I am rich. What does any of this matter?"
Morgan Tanner -
Republican

Marjorie Taylor Greene Continues Plastic Surgery to Look More Like Baseball Mitt

The most useless representative in America, conspiracy theorist Marjorie Taylor Greene says replacing skin with cowhide leather is the future of beauty.
Morgan Tanner -
1...456Page 5 of 6

Breaking

Burger King Rebrands as ‘Burger Queen’ After Royal Fast Food Patron Accused of Visiting Epstein’s Island

Business 0
The "home of the Whopper" will now have dual meaning after the King of fast food burgers has been accused of illicit behavior on Little St. James, better known as "Epstein Island".

“Five Stars. Would Get Abducted Again,” Says Man Returned By Aliens

Exclusive 0
Trevor Haskins returned after a week with extraterrestrials, calling the whole thing more vacation than abduction. Officials are baffled, neighbors are uneasy, and he’s already hoping for a return trip.

Game to “Boost Morale” While Nation Descends into Chaos

NEWS 0
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As the federal government remains closed...

AMC Introduces New “Bedflix Bangers” Featuring Full Beds for Guests Who Can’t Wait to Ruin Movies with Sex

Entertainment 0
AMC revolutionizes moviegoing with new Cine-Suites—plush beds replacing seats—so guests can finally get freaky without fighting an armrest.

DISCLAIMER: This website is a parody and purely satirical. Almost nothing here is true. It’s nearly all made up and should not be taken seriously. Any resemblance to real people and events are either coincidental or hilariously intentional.

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