RFK Jr. says he doesn't trust the government putting "foreign substances" in his body but if you know where to find "premo Colombian heroin", then that's a different story.

President Donald Trump says he was told to stop being such a piece of shit by a ghost at his bedside who resembles Republican Senator McConnell (KY).

RFK Jr.’s encounter with actor Warwick Davis at a local Applebee's resulted in a declaration that a task force is to look into the existence of mythological beings immediately.

Donald Trump aims his tariff cannon at the world but turns his sights away from Indonesia where they produce the fine orange powder he puts on his face.

Colorado Rep. Lauren Boebert claims Georgia Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene should be "deported" if Greene can't prove she is a biological female after bathroom mix-up.

RFK Jr. stunned the nation today by revealing his famously strained voice isn’t from a disorder — he just thought it made him sound more relatable. Doctors are furious. America is confused. And apparently, he sings like a damn Disney prince.

President Trump has reopened Alcatraz as TRAZ — a “definitely not-a-prison” re-education zone for the unpatriotic. Critics call it dystopian cosplay; the White House calls it “a scenic reboot for freedom-deficient Americans.”

Negotiations reportedly stalled until President Trump sent Xi Jinping a $CHINUS mock-up on Truth Social, captioned: “Trade this, Winnie.” Rather than take offense, Xi stunned his delegation by replying with a GIF of himself as a triumphant Winnie the Pooh flexing on top of a Bitcoin chart.

The last W the United States has seen, George "W" Bush throws one hell of a party. He is also incredible at beer pong despite downing 9 cans of Coors.

RFK Jr. says he doesn't trust the government putting "foreign substances" in his body but if you know where to find "premo Colombian heroin", then that's a different story.

President Donald Trump says he was told to stop being such a piece of shit by a ghost at his bedside who resembles Republican Senator McConnell (KY).

RFK Jr.’s encounter with actor Warwick Davis at a local Applebee's resulted in a declaration that a task force is to look into the existence of mythological beings immediately.

Donald Trump aims his tariff cannon at the world but turns his sights away from Indonesia where they produce the fine orange powder he puts on his face.

Colorado Rep. Lauren Boebert claims Georgia Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene should be "deported" if Greene can't prove she is a biological female after bathroom mix-up.

RFK Jr. stunned the nation today by revealing his famously strained voice isn’t from a disorder — he just thought it made him sound more relatable. Doctors are furious. America is confused. And apparently, he sings like a damn Disney prince.

President Trump has reopened Alcatraz as TRAZ — a “definitely not-a-prison” re-education zone for the unpatriotic. Critics call it dystopian cosplay; the White House calls it “a scenic reboot for freedom-deficient Americans.”

Negotiations reportedly stalled until President Trump sent Xi Jinping a $CHINUS mock-up on Truth Social, captioned: “Trade this, Winnie.” Rather than take offense, Xi stunned his delegation by replying with a GIF of himself as a triumphant Winnie the Pooh flexing on top of a Bitcoin chart.

The last W the United States has seen, George "W" Bush throws one hell of a party. He is also incredible at beer pong despite downing 9 cans of Coors.