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Republican

U.S. Government Announces Plan to Erase National Debt by Selling Naming Rights to States, Parks, Buildings and National Monuments

A sweeping government move is set to redefine the nation's most recognizable places. With corporate deals on the table and tradition up for negotiation, even history isn’t safe from rebranding.
Jett Monument -
Sports

League of Legends Pro Tests Positive for Steroids, Gets Suspended and Grounded by His Mom

Under pressure to perform, Tyler “NyteRayvn69” Blevmont made the wrong kind of gains. Now the league is cracking down, and his fans are feeling deceived.
Jett Monument -
Politics

Trump: “There is No List!”, Claims Epstein Friendship Ended After Being Removed from Top 8 on Myspace in 2004

47th President Donald Trump says Epstein must have killed himself in his sleep, as he was clearly innocent since there is no "Epstein List" to speak of.
Morgan Tanner -
Entertainment

Big Bird Under Fire After Elmo’s Digital Disaster Sends Sesame Street Into Full Damage Control

The usual lessons about kindness and cooperation have given way to locked accounts, backstage tension, and a growing sense that something’s not quite right on Sesame Street.
Jett Monument -
Business

As RFK Jr. Moves to Ban Red 40, Scientists Unveil Red 69 As An All-Natural Alternative

As synthetic dyes are on the chopping block, scientists are racing to find a safer solution that still manages to hit the sweet spot.
Jett Monument -
Republican

Trump Convinced Russia Is Run by Gremlins, No One in His Administration Has the Will to Tell Him Otherwise

Everyone knows the Kremlin isn’t the Gremlins. Everyone except the president, who’s now basing foreign policy on the mix-up.
Jett Monument -
NEWS

L.A. Homicide Rates Drop to Historic Lows, Residents Unsure How to Act in Public Without the Constant Threat of Death

With less murders, LA residents are trying to adjust by finding new things to fear and even more things to complain about.
Jett Monument -
Science

Archaeologists Discover Great Pyramids Were Actually Ancient Power Plants Built So Egyptians Could Watch Porn in HD

Ancient Egyptian say “I’m just finishing up in here! Don’t come in!” As they watch hieroglyphic porn powdered by pyramids
Buck Drayton -
Business

TSA to End “Shoes Off” Policy After Internal Report Reveals Shockingly High Number of Agents Have a Foot Fetish

After years of questionable pat-downs and shoe-level security, the TSA is finally rethinking its approach following some deeply uncomfortable internal findings.
Jett Monument -
1234...13Page 3 of 13
Republican

U.S. Government Announces Plan to Erase National Debt by Selling Naming Rights to States, Parks, Buildings and National Monuments

A sweeping government move is set to redefine the nation's most recognizable places. With corporate deals on the table and tradition up for negotiation, even history isn’t safe from rebranding.
Jett Monument -
Sports

League of Legends Pro Tests Positive for Steroids, Gets Suspended and Grounded by His Mom

Under pressure to perform, Tyler “NyteRayvn69” Blevmont made the wrong kind of gains. Now the league is cracking down, and his fans are feeling deceived.
Jett Monument -
Politics

Trump: “There is No List!”, Claims Epstein Friendship Ended After Being Removed from Top 8 on Myspace in 2004

47th President Donald Trump says Epstein must have killed himself in his sleep, as he was clearly innocent since there is no "Epstein List" to speak of.
Morgan Tanner -
Entertainment

Big Bird Under Fire After Elmo’s Digital Disaster Sends Sesame Street Into Full Damage Control

The usual lessons about kindness and cooperation have given way to locked accounts, backstage tension, and a growing sense that something’s not quite right on Sesame Street.
Jett Monument -
Business

As RFK Jr. Moves to Ban Red 40, Scientists Unveil Red 69 As An All-Natural Alternative

As synthetic dyes are on the chopping block, scientists are racing to find a safer solution that still manages to hit the sweet spot.
Jett Monument -
Republican

Trump Convinced Russia Is Run by Gremlins, No One in His Administration Has the Will to Tell Him Otherwise

Everyone knows the Kremlin isn’t the Gremlins. Everyone except the president, who’s now basing foreign policy on the mix-up.
Jett Monument -
NEWS

L.A. Homicide Rates Drop to Historic Lows, Residents Unsure How to Act in Public Without the Constant Threat of Death

With less murders, LA residents are trying to adjust by finding new things to fear and even more things to complain about.
Jett Monument -
Science

Archaeologists Discover Great Pyramids Were Actually Ancient Power Plants Built So Egyptians Could Watch Porn in HD

Ancient Egyptian say “I’m just finishing up in here! Don’t come in!” As they watch hieroglyphic porn powdered by pyramids
Buck Drayton -
Business

TSA to End “Shoes Off” Policy After Internal Report Reveals Shockingly High Number of Agents Have a Foot Fetish

After years of questionable pat-downs and shoe-level security, the TSA is finally rethinking its approach following some deeply uncomfortable internal findings.
Jett Monument -
1234...13Page 3 of 13
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Latest News

Republican

Nation Faces Black Printer Ink Shortage as Epstein Files Are Released by Current Administration

The Trump Administration has caused a black ink shortage nationwide at the time of the release of the documentation of the infamous Jeffrey Epstein investigation.
Business

Burger King Rebrands as ‘Burger Queen’ After Royal Fast Food Patron Accused of Visiting Epstein’s Island

The "home of the Whopper" will now have dual meaning after the King of fast food burgers has been accused of illicit behavior on Little St. James, better known as "Epstein Island".
Exclusive

“Five Stars. Would Get Abducted Again,” Says Man Returned By Aliens

Trevor Haskins returned after a week with extraterrestrials, calling the whole thing more vacation than abduction. Officials are baffled, neighbors are uneasy, and he’s already hoping for a return trip.
NEWS

Game to “Boost Morale” While Nation Descends into Chaos

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As the federal government remains closed for the 19th consecutive day,...

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