PLANO, TX – In a shocking turn of events that has rocked the competitive League of Legends scene and disappointed nerds everywhere, popular pro gamer Tyler “NyteRayvn69” Blevmont has been suspended from the League Championship Series (LCS) after testing positive for anabolic steroids. He is now the first esports player in history to do so, largely because the rest of the “athletes” are reportedly terrified of needles and are prone to fainting at the sight of blood.
The 22-year-old mid-laner, best known for his signature Vel’Koz plays and his catchphrase “GET REKT, MORTALS,” failed a surprise anti-doping test administered by Riot Games following last week’s match against Team GiggleSlap. Officials reportedly became suspicious after noticing NyteRayvn’s webcam revealed a visible bicep, something previously unheard of in the pro gaming community.
According to the LCS official report, the banned substances included trenbolone, creatine and methylexanamine, a stimulant so intense it’s banned in most professional sports and several countries. League officials clarified that while those substances are strictly prohibited, pounding Bang energy drinks is still allowed despite the growing number of players vibrating through champion select.
According to his mom, as part of his punishment, NyteRayvn is now restricted to only two hours of screen time per day (including Discord). He is required to spend a weekly minimum of five hours outside with “just fresh air, sunshine and his own thoughts” and has lost all snack cabinet privileges. This is a particularly devastating blow for someone whose diet previously consisted of toaster strudels, Sour Patch Kids and Cool Ranch Doritos.
In what experts are calling a cruel and unusual measure, he was last seen sitting under a tree holding his mouse and keyboard, muttering “this isn’t patch 14.13” while getting lightly sunburned.
“It’s barbaric,” he posted to his IG story before the app timer locked him out. “There’s no Wi-Fi out here. The sky is too high-res.”
His once-dedicated fanbase is divided. Some stand by their jacked idol defending his pursuit of “optimal dopamine output.” Others feel betrayed.
“He used to be one of us,” said Reddit user AramGod420. “Now he’s just another sweaty Chad with traps. What’s next, dating someone in person?”
NyteRayvn has since posted a Notes app apology titled “My Journey” where he took full accountability for the vibe shift and blamed peer pressure, gym bros and “a society that rewards hyper-competitive click accuracy.” He also clarified that he only did one cycle and technically still has natural wrists.
In response, Riot Games announced the formation of an anti-doping initiative called CleanClicks, though insiders say the entire program currently consists of a single email blast sent to all players that features an image of Goku flexing over the phrase “Train Clean.”
NyteRayvn is expected to return to competitive play in 2027 provided he completes his grounding, fulfills his community service by modding a Minecraft server and releases a public apology video filmed from his gaming chair with sad lo-fi music playing in the background.
As of press time, Tyler was spotted on his front lawn in pajama pants and Crocs, squinting at the sky, loudly asking if the cloud above him was “lagging or just loading slowly.” His mom, from the doorway, then shouted, “Stop talking like that and go help your father clean the gutters.”
