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President Trump Does an Undercover Boss at “Alligator Alcatraz,” Secretly Oversees Opening Day While Complaining No One Recognized Him

President Trump went undercover at the opening day of Alligator Alcatraz and immediately blew his cover because no one recognized him and his ego couldn’t handle it.
Jett Monument -
World

BREAKING: Jesus Has Risen! But Also Immediately Deported

The Messiah of Christianity was last seen boarding a Delta flight, flying coach to Jerusalem just before an attack from Iran radicals on the capital city of Israel. God speed, Jesus.
Morgan Tanner -
World

Operation Golden Swagger: Trump Declares ‘Mission Accomplished-ish’ After Personally Scaring Iran with Stealth, Style, and Sunglasses

Trump Bombs Iran Into Apology, Israel Claims Victory in Global Game of ‘Told You So’
Buck Drayton -
Science

Man Creates New Religion with AI Chatbot, Accidentally Proves All Other Religions Were Total Horseshit All Along

Local man accidentally creates a wildly popular new religion with an AI chatbot, instantly rendering 4,000 years of human spirituality obsolete
Buck Drayton -
Science

Study Finds Intelligence Directly Linked to Ass-Wiping Technique

After months of research, scientists finally identify the missing link between genius and skid marks.
Buck Drayton -
Entertainment

Trump, Hanks, Puffy, and the CEO of Wetzel’s Pretzels All Named in “Epstein List” Released by a Heartbroken Elon Musk

“Donald Trump is nastiest skank bitch l've ever met. Do NOT trust him. He is a fugly slut!” Says Elon after revealing that President Trump in on the Epstein List.
Buck Drayton -
Exclusive

Elon Musk Awarded Custody of 19-Year-Old Barron Trump Just Days After Breakup with President Trump

Just days after their highly publicized breakup, Elon Musk has secured full custody of 19-year-old Barron Trump through a little-known DOGE loophole. The President, blindsided, is reportedly fuming.
Jett Monument -
Politics

Brain Worm: The Kennedy Parasite Chronicles: Chapter 2 of 3: “Echoes from Dealey Plaza”

New JFK files reveal Oswald stopped a brain-wormed JFK from launching a world-infecting parasite attack.
Buck Drayton -
Entertainment

Local Man Marries Minecraft Villager After Building Entire City and Abandoning Real Life

After failing to fall in love in real life, one man built a full Minecraft city, married a pixelated villager, and is now undergoing surgery to become more blocky in hopes of finally fitting into a world that isn’t coded to reject him.
Jett Monument -
1...345...13Page 4 of 13
Exclusive

President Trump Does an Undercover Boss at “Alligator Alcatraz,” Secretly Oversees Opening Day While Complaining No One Recognized Him

President Trump went undercover at the opening day of Alligator Alcatraz and immediately blew his cover because no one recognized him and his ego couldn’t handle it.
Jett Monument -
World

BREAKING: Jesus Has Risen! But Also Immediately Deported

The Messiah of Christianity was last seen boarding a Delta flight, flying coach to Jerusalem just before an attack from Iran radicals on the capital city of Israel. God speed, Jesus.
Morgan Tanner -
World

Operation Golden Swagger: Trump Declares ‘Mission Accomplished-ish’ After Personally Scaring Iran with Stealth, Style, and Sunglasses

Trump Bombs Iran Into Apology, Israel Claims Victory in Global Game of ‘Told You So’
Buck Drayton -
Science

Man Creates New Religion with AI Chatbot, Accidentally Proves All Other Religions Were Total Horseshit All Along

Local man accidentally creates a wildly popular new religion with an AI chatbot, instantly rendering 4,000 years of human spirituality obsolete
Buck Drayton -
Science

Study Finds Intelligence Directly Linked to Ass-Wiping Technique

After months of research, scientists finally identify the missing link between genius and skid marks.
Buck Drayton -
Entertainment

Trump, Hanks, Puffy, and the CEO of Wetzel’s Pretzels All Named in “Epstein List” Released by a Heartbroken Elon Musk

“Donald Trump is nastiest skank bitch l've ever met. Do NOT trust him. He is a fugly slut!” Says Elon after revealing that President Trump in on the Epstein List.
Buck Drayton -
Exclusive

Elon Musk Awarded Custody of 19-Year-Old Barron Trump Just Days After Breakup with President Trump

Just days after their highly publicized breakup, Elon Musk has secured full custody of 19-year-old Barron Trump through a little-known DOGE loophole. The President, blindsided, is reportedly fuming.
Jett Monument -
Politics

Brain Worm: The Kennedy Parasite Chronicles: Chapter 2 of 3: “Echoes from Dealey Plaza”

New JFK files reveal Oswald stopped a brain-wormed JFK from launching a world-infecting parasite attack.
Buck Drayton -
Entertainment

Local Man Marries Minecraft Villager After Building Entire City and Abandoning Real Life

After failing to fall in love in real life, one man built a full Minecraft city, married a pixelated villager, and is now undergoing surgery to become more blocky in hopes of finally fitting into a world that isn’t coded to reject him.
Jett Monument -
1...345...13Page 4 of 13
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Republican

Nation Faces Black Printer Ink Shortage as Epstein Files Are Released by Current Administration

The Trump Administration has caused a black ink shortage nationwide at the time of the release of the documentation of the infamous Jeffrey Epstein investigation.
Business

Burger King Rebrands as ‘Burger Queen’ After Royal Fast Food Patron Accused of Visiting Epstein’s Island

The "home of the Whopper" will now have dual meaning after the King of fast food burgers has been accused of illicit behavior on Little St. James, better known as "Epstein Island".
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“Five Stars. Would Get Abducted Again,” Says Man Returned By Aliens

Trevor Haskins returned after a week with extraterrestrials, calling the whole thing more vacation than abduction. Officials are baffled, neighbors are uneasy, and he’s already hoping for a return trip.
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Game to “Boost Morale” While Nation Descends into Chaos

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As the federal government remains closed for the 19th consecutive day,...

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