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Buck Drayton

15 POSTS
Buckley “Buck” Drayton is a veteran political and business journalist with the jawline of a senator and the skepticism of someone who’s interviewed too many. Known for his blunt takes, no-frills suits, and an uncanny ability to sniff out corporate nonsense from across a boardroom, Buck delivers hard truths with harder stares. If there’s a scandal brewing, Buck’s already sipping his coffee—black, like his outlook on campaign finance reform.
Entertainment

The Truth About Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s Relationship: Jason Kelce Begs for Help Through Tears: “Save My Brother”

Jason Kelce tearfully begs for help as Travis falls deeper into Taylor Swift’s glittery Illuminati sex cult.
Buck Drayton -
NBA

Jason Tatum Out for Remainder of Playoffs After Suffering Catastrophic Injury During Layup Attempt

Jayson Tatum is out of the playoffs after his vagina spontaneously combusted during a mildly contested layup.
Buck Drayton -
Entertainment

Joe Rogan Now Tenured Professor at Harvard- ‘This Is Not An Acid Trip’, It’s An Experience

In a historic academic shift, Joe Rogan was granted tenure at Harvard after his podcast achieved sentience and began guest lecturing on its own.
Buck Drayton -
NFL

NFL Raking In So Much Cash, Officials Say “Screw It, Give CTE a Sponsorship Deal”

The NFL, now so wildly profitable it defies ethics and gravity, has decided to tackle the CTE crisis by branding it, sponsoring it, and possibly turning it into a halftime show.
Buck Drayton -
NBA

Dallas Mavericks Land #1 Pick After Trading Luka Dončić to Lakers, Involving “Deeply Inappropriate” Acts by Front Office

The Mavericks somehow landed the No. 1 pick after GM Nico Harrison allegedly did unspeakable things and Mark Cuban summoned dark billionaire magic.
Buck Drayton -
Politics

Homeland Security Subpoenas Entire State of California for Allegedly Handing Out Cash, Cupcakes, and Jet Skis to Illegal Immigrants

Homeland Security subpoenaed California over wild claims it’s giving illegal immigrants cash, cupcakes, and jet skis—basically a game show prize package. State officials replied, “If only we had that kind of budget for everyone.”
Buck Drayton -
MLB

Baseball Still Too Long and Boring, League Considers “Mild Electrocution” to Spice Things Up

MLB eyes wild changes—like stripping, shock collars, and fan-controlled drones—to make baseball less of a televised nap.
Buck Drayton -
Politics

Trump Announces Bold Executive Order to Cut Prices of Hard Drugs, Citing “Outrageously High Street Costs”

Trump announced a plan to cut street drug prices with “Patriot Drug Outlets” and TRUMP SPEED meth, leaving experts baffled and critics stunned by the surreal proposal.
Buck Drayton -
Politics

Bill Gates Accuses Elon Musk of “Mass Baby Slaughter via Spreadsheet,” Declares DOGECOIN a “Weapon of Geographical Ignorance”

Bill Gates called Elon Musk a baby killer over foreign aid cuts and slammed DOGE as a “currency for the geographically clueless,” claiming it was made by people who think Mozambique is a tech startup.
Buck Drayton -
12Page 1 of 2
Entertainment

The Truth About Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s Relationship: Jason Kelce Begs for Help Through Tears: “Save My Brother”

Jason Kelce tearfully begs for help as Travis falls deeper into Taylor Swift’s glittery Illuminati sex cult.
Buck Drayton -
NBA

Jason Tatum Out for Remainder of Playoffs After Suffering Catastrophic Injury During Layup Attempt

Jayson Tatum is out of the playoffs after his vagina spontaneously combusted during a mildly contested layup.
Buck Drayton -
Entertainment

Joe Rogan Now Tenured Professor at Harvard- ‘This Is Not An Acid Trip’, It’s An Experience

In a historic academic shift, Joe Rogan was granted tenure at Harvard after his podcast achieved sentience and began guest lecturing on its own.
Buck Drayton -
NFL

NFL Raking In So Much Cash, Officials Say “Screw It, Give CTE a Sponsorship Deal”

The NFL, now so wildly profitable it defies ethics and gravity, has decided to tackle the CTE crisis by branding it, sponsoring it, and possibly turning it into a halftime show.
Buck Drayton -
NBA

Dallas Mavericks Land #1 Pick After Trading Luka Dončić to Lakers, Involving “Deeply Inappropriate” Acts by Front Office

The Mavericks somehow landed the No. 1 pick after GM Nico Harrison allegedly did unspeakable things and Mark Cuban summoned dark billionaire magic.
Buck Drayton -
Politics

Homeland Security Subpoenas Entire State of California for Allegedly Handing Out Cash, Cupcakes, and Jet Skis to Illegal Immigrants

Homeland Security subpoenaed California over wild claims it’s giving illegal immigrants cash, cupcakes, and jet skis—basically a game show prize package. State officials replied, “If only we had that kind of budget for everyone.”
Buck Drayton -
MLB

Baseball Still Too Long and Boring, League Considers “Mild Electrocution” to Spice Things Up

MLB eyes wild changes—like stripping, shock collars, and fan-controlled drones—to make baseball less of a televised nap.
Buck Drayton -
Politics

Trump Announces Bold Executive Order to Cut Prices of Hard Drugs, Citing “Outrageously High Street Costs”

Trump announced a plan to cut street drug prices with “Patriot Drug Outlets” and TRUMP SPEED meth, leaving experts baffled and critics stunned by the surreal proposal.
Buck Drayton -
Politics

Bill Gates Accuses Elon Musk of “Mass Baby Slaughter via Spreadsheet,” Declares DOGECOIN a “Weapon of Geographical Ignorance”

Bill Gates called Elon Musk a baby killer over foreign aid cuts and slammed DOGE as a “currency for the geographically clueless,” claiming it was made by people who think Mozambique is a tech startup.
Buck Drayton -
12Page 1 of 2

Breaking

“Female Orgasm a Myth”, Says Trump Administration’s Head of Sexual Education and Wellness

Science 0
Head of Sexual Education and Wellness, Dr. Randy P. Whetstone, says that the female orgasm is fictional nonsense created by the woke mainstream liberal media to make white men feel bad about themselves.

Hilary Duff is Returning to Music After 10 Years, Says Her New Single ‘Heil Hitler’ is Better Than Kanye’s

Entertainment 0
Disney Channel Original Movie 'My Dog is My Mom' star Hilary Duff says that her song about "Das Führer" is about finding light in the darkness and will uplift the hearts of Agent Cody Banks fans everywhere.

RFK Jr.’s Brain Worm Not Actually Dead, Speaks to Him Telepathically About Letting Children Contract Measles

Science 0
Kennedy's brain worm is alive and ready to dominate the greatest country in the world, starting with Texas, the most anti-vaccinated region in the world.

Marvel Renames Thunderbolts* to ‘Marvel’s Leftovers’, Stunned to Learn People Will Watch Literally Anything

Entertainment 0
Marvel has rebranded Thunderbolts* as Marvel’s Leftovers, and audiences are still buying tickets. Apparently, all it takes is a logo and Florence Pugh.

DISCLAIMER: This website is a parody and purely satirical. Almost nothing here is true. It’s nearly all made up and should not be taken seriously. Any resemblance to real people and events are either coincidental or hilariously intentional.

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