HOLLYWOOD, CA — In a stunning turn of events that no algorithm, focus group, or Kevin Feige prophecy could have predicted, Thunderbolts* — now officially rebranded as Marvel’s Leftovers — is performing shockingly well at the box office, despite featuring a lineup of characters so obscure even die-hard fans have resorted to Googling “Who is Ghost again?”
Originally marketed under the more heroic-sounding Thunderbolts*, the film was quietly renamed Marvel’s Leftovers after early screenings revealed audiences mostly responded with comments like “Wait, is this a sequel to something?” and “Did Hawkeye die or just not get the call?”
“We thought honesty might be our last shot,” said Marvel spokesperson Dana Riggs. “We leaned into what the movie really is — a mismatched group of heroes who couldn’t headline a Disney+ episode, let alone a full movie. And weirdly, people are eating it up.”
The cast includes fan favorites like Bucky Barnes (a.k.a. the sad man with the metal arm), Yelena Belova (Florence Pugh, carrying this franchise like it’s a drunk friend at Coachella), Red Guardian (the guy from Stranger Things, but Russian), U.S. Agent (the government’s answer to ‘What if Captain America was annoying?’), and Ghost (who may or may not have been in Ant-Man 2 — no one can confirm).
Despite all odds, Marvel’s Leftovers has surpassed expectations, pulling in strong weekend numbers and trending on social media with hashtags like #WhoAreThesePeople and #FlorencePughDeservesBetter.
Analysts are baffled. “It’s outperforming some of the Avengers movies overseas,” said box office expert Trina Kim. “Which is wild considering one of the characters spends half the film invisible and the other half being ignored.”
When asked for comment, Kevin Feige reportedly blinked twice in Morse code for “send help” and quietly scribbled The Return of Iron Man’s Butler onto a development whiteboard.
Meanwhile, Marvel executives have greenlit several follow-up projects under the new “Leftovers Cinematic Universe,” including Marvel’s Leftovers: Reheated, Avengers: Adjacent, B-Squad Assemble, and a Disney+ limited series titled That One Guy From the Background of Endgame: Origins.
