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Disney Inc. Says They’ll Proceed with Thawing Walt from Cryostasis, Apparently Satisfied with Success of Nazi Uprising in America

The company says with the rise of fascism, it is time to awaken Führer Walter Adolf Disney and "Make America Goose-step Again".

Deep State Claims All Democrats are Lizard People, Clintons Take Offense, Pull Back Masks to Reveal Amphibian Origins

In a tune that is most accurately described equivalent to a song by Future, the Clinton's have been exposed as frog people who originate from miles beneath the earth's surface.

Nebraska Man Wins $421 Million Mega Millions Jackpot, Goes to Vegas, Loses It All “To Feel Something”

Donny Klemme won Nebraska’s Mega Millions jackpot and lost it all in Vegas within 48 hours. He now has no money—just stories, T-shirts, a questionable tattoo, and zero regrets.

Biden to Run in 2036 as Sentient Brain in Jar, Backed by Hunter, Jill, and Google Docs

President Biden has officially become the first U.S. leader to run for office as a sentient brain suspended in government-funded Jell-O.

Trump Declares Looks-Based Breeding Law—Must Be an 8+ to Bang for America

Trump signs order banning “ugly” couples from procreating. Critics call it shallow; he calls it patriotic.

Pete Buttigieg Officially Changes Name to “Bootygieg” in Bold Rebrand Aimed at Gen Z

Former Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg rebrands as “Pete Bootygieg” in a bold bid to connect with Gen Z and make infrastructure go viral — one slice of cake at a time.

Dream Adultery Epidemic Rocks Suburban America; Husbands Confused, Wives Enraged Over Affairs That Never Happened

“Through tears and confusion, wives demand justice for dream betrayals while husbands apologize for imaginary trysts they swear they never subconsciously committed.”

Study Finds White Men Begin Morphing Into Pickup Truck-Loving Republicans at 37, Fueled by Whiskey, Taxes, and Morgan Wallen

Some victims of the transformation even report wardrobe changes happening subconsciously.

Barry Keoghan to Play Ellen DeGeneres in New Biopic “Degenerate”

DeGeneres says Keoghan's performance as Joker in Matt Reeves' The Batman sold her on him taking the role of her life.

Disney Inc. Says They’ll Proceed with Thawing Walt from Cryostasis, Apparently Satisfied with Success of Nazi Uprising in America

The company says with the rise of fascism, it is time to awaken Führer Walter Adolf Disney and "Make America Goose-step Again".

Deep State Claims All Democrats are Lizard People, Clintons Take Offense, Pull Back Masks to Reveal Amphibian Origins

In a tune that is most accurately described equivalent to a song by Future, the Clinton's have been exposed as frog people who originate from miles beneath the earth's surface.

Nebraska Man Wins $421 Million Mega Millions Jackpot, Goes to Vegas, Loses It All “To Feel Something”

Donny Klemme won Nebraska’s Mega Millions jackpot and lost it all in Vegas within 48 hours. He now has no money—just stories, T-shirts, a questionable tattoo, and zero regrets.

Biden to Run in 2036 as Sentient Brain in Jar, Backed by Hunter, Jill, and Google Docs

President Biden has officially become the first U.S. leader to run for office as a sentient brain suspended in government-funded Jell-O.

Trump Declares Looks-Based Breeding Law—Must Be an 8+ to Bang for America

Trump signs order banning “ugly” couples from procreating. Critics call it shallow; he calls it patriotic.

Pete Buttigieg Officially Changes Name to “Bootygieg” in Bold Rebrand Aimed at Gen Z

Former Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg rebrands as “Pete Bootygieg” in a bold bid to connect with Gen Z and make infrastructure go viral — one slice of cake at a time.

Dream Adultery Epidemic Rocks Suburban America; Husbands Confused, Wives Enraged Over Affairs That Never Happened

“Through tears and confusion, wives demand justice for dream betrayals while husbands apologize for imaginary trysts they swear they never subconsciously committed.”

Study Finds White Men Begin Morphing Into Pickup Truck-Loving Republicans at 37, Fueled by Whiskey, Taxes, and Morgan Wallen

Some victims of the transformation even report wardrobe changes happening subconsciously.

Barry Keoghan to Play Ellen DeGeneres in New Biopic “Degenerate”

DeGeneres says Keoghan's performance as Joker in Matt Reeves' The Batman sold her on him taking the role of her life.
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Burger King Rebrands as ‘Burger Queen’ After Royal Fast Food Patron Accused of Visiting Epstein’s Island

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Game to “Boost Morale” While Nation Descends into Chaos

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