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Mark Zuckerberg Confused by Elon Musk’s Desires for Brain Chip, Says He’s Still Trying to Understand Being a Human

Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg doesn't see the point in Musk's attempts to make human beings more synthetic. Zuck says he still struggles with understanding things human people do.
Morgan Tanner -
Entertainment

Katy Perry Says Her Upcoming OceanGate Deep-Sea Submersible Voyage is Next Big Frontier for All Women Everywhere

Washed up pop icon Katy Perry is confused as to why people aren't celebrating her achievement of paying for a Blue Origin flight. Says the "blue ocean" is next big frontier for lower class moms everywhere.
Morgan Tanner -
Business

Elon Musk Considering Leaving Tesla to Focus on Lying About Being Good at Path of Exile 2 Full-Time

After admitting to boosting his PoE2 account by paying a 12-year-old kid from Beijing to play on his behalf, the billionaire says he is ready to continue to lie about it as a full-time career path.
Morgan Tanner -
World

Vatican Elects First U.S. Pope, Leo XIV, Immediately Orders Monster Truck Rally at Colosseum and Declares “Sundays Are for Jesus and Football”

In a historic and wildly American moment, Pope Leo XIV emerged on the balcony in aviators holding a hotdog, as crowds chanted “USA! USA!” and Vatican doves briefly formed the shape of a bald eagle.
Buck Drayton -
Republican

Trump Unveils “Self-Deportation Bonanza” with Free Flights, $50,000 in TrumpBucks, a Timeshare on the Moon, and One Live Bald Eagle Per Participant

President Donald Trump has unveiled Operation Go Big and Go Home, a self-deportation sweepstakes featuring free one-way flights, $50,000 in TrumpBucks, moon timeshares, and live bald eagles.
Buck Drayton -
Republican

Tucker Carlson Rants About More Shit That’s Easily Proven False

Heir to the Swanson family fortune, Tucker Carlson continues to lie about everything because "fuck it, I am rich. What does any of this matter?"
Morgan Tanner -
NHL

Anaheim Ducks Hire Joel Quenneville as Head Coach, Say “Morals Are for Teams That Win”

In a stunning twist that raised eyebrows and blood pressure, the Ducks traded integrity for ambition by naming Joel Quenneville head coach.
Buck Drayton -
NHL

Utah Hockey Club Finally Names Itself the “Utah Mammoth,” Boldly Declares War on Logic, Taste, and the Fossil Record

Utah finally picked a name—the Mammoth—because nothing says hockey like a giant, extinct, ice-age elephant; it’s a fucking dumb name and everyone knows it.
Buck Drayton -
Republican

Marjorie Taylor Greene Continues Plastic Surgery to Look More Like Baseball Mitt

The most useless representative in America, conspiracy theorist Marjorie Taylor Greene says replacing skin with cowhide leather is the future of beauty.
Morgan Tanner -
1...567Page 6 of 7
Business

Mark Zuckerberg Confused by Elon Musk’s Desires for Brain Chip, Says He’s Still Trying to Understand Being a Human

Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg doesn't see the point in Musk's attempts to make human beings more synthetic. Zuck says he still struggles with understanding things human people do.
Morgan Tanner -
Entertainment

Katy Perry Says Her Upcoming OceanGate Deep-Sea Submersible Voyage is Next Big Frontier for All Women Everywhere

Washed up pop icon Katy Perry is confused as to why people aren't celebrating her achievement of paying for a Blue Origin flight. Says the "blue ocean" is next big frontier for lower class moms everywhere.
Morgan Tanner -
Business

Elon Musk Considering Leaving Tesla to Focus on Lying About Being Good at Path of Exile 2 Full-Time

After admitting to boosting his PoE2 account by paying a 12-year-old kid from Beijing to play on his behalf, the billionaire says he is ready to continue to lie about it as a full-time career path.
Morgan Tanner -
World

Vatican Elects First U.S. Pope, Leo XIV, Immediately Orders Monster Truck Rally at Colosseum and Declares “Sundays Are for Jesus and Football”

In a historic and wildly American moment, Pope Leo XIV emerged on the balcony in aviators holding a hotdog, as crowds chanted “USA! USA!” and Vatican doves briefly formed the shape of a bald eagle.
Buck Drayton -
Republican

Trump Unveils “Self-Deportation Bonanza” with Free Flights, $50,000 in TrumpBucks, a Timeshare on the Moon, and One Live Bald Eagle Per Participant

President Donald Trump has unveiled Operation Go Big and Go Home, a self-deportation sweepstakes featuring free one-way flights, $50,000 in TrumpBucks, moon timeshares, and live bald eagles.
Buck Drayton -
Republican

Tucker Carlson Rants About More Shit That’s Easily Proven False

Heir to the Swanson family fortune, Tucker Carlson continues to lie about everything because "fuck it, I am rich. What does any of this matter?"
Morgan Tanner -
NHL

Anaheim Ducks Hire Joel Quenneville as Head Coach, Say “Morals Are for Teams That Win”

In a stunning twist that raised eyebrows and blood pressure, the Ducks traded integrity for ambition by naming Joel Quenneville head coach.
Buck Drayton -
NHL

Utah Hockey Club Finally Names Itself the “Utah Mammoth,” Boldly Declares War on Logic, Taste, and the Fossil Record

Utah finally picked a name—the Mammoth—because nothing says hockey like a giant, extinct, ice-age elephant; it’s a fucking dumb name and everyone knows it.
Buck Drayton -
Republican

Marjorie Taylor Greene Continues Plastic Surgery to Look More Like Baseball Mitt

The most useless representative in America, conspiracy theorist Marjorie Taylor Greene says replacing skin with cowhide leather is the future of beauty.
Morgan Tanner -
1...567Page 6 of 7
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Latest News

NEWS

Study Finds White Men Begin Morphing Into Pickup Truck-Loving Republicans at 37, Fueled by Whiskey, Taxes, and Morgan Wallen

UNITED STATES — In what experts are calling a “cultural metamorphosis unlike anything seen...
Entertainment

Barry Keoghan to Play Ellen DeGeneres in New Biopic “Degenerate”

DeGeneres says Keoghan's performance as Joker in Matt Reeves' The Batman sold her on him taking the role of her life.
Science

“Female Orgasm a Myth”, Says Trump Administration’s Head of Sexual Education and Wellness

Head of Sexual Education and Wellness, Dr. Randy P. Whetstone, says that the female orgasm is fictional nonsense created by the woke mainstream liberal media to make white men feel bad about themselves.
Entertainment

Hilary Duff is Returning to Music After 10 Years, Says Her New Single ‘Heil Hitler’ is Better Than Kanye’s

Disney Channel Original Movie 'My Dog is My Mom' star Hilary Duff says that her song about "Das Führer" is about finding light in the darkness and will uplift the hearts of Agent Cody Banks fans everywhere.

DISCLAIMER: This website is a parody and purely satirical. Almost nothing here is true. It’s nearly all made up and should not be taken seriously. Any resemblance to real people and events are either coincidental or hilariously intentional.

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