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Elon Musk Awarded Custody of 19-Year-Old Barron Trump Just Days After Breakup with President Trump

Just days after their highly publicized breakup, Elon Musk has secured full custody of 19-year-old Barron Trump through a little-known DOGE loophole. The President, blindsided, is reportedly fuming.
Jett Monument -
Republican

Right-Wing Grifter Charlie Kirk Says His Eyes Are So Close Together, He Uses a Monocle For Both Eyes

Alt-right grifter and MAGA youth cultist Charlie Kirk says "glasses are for liberals and beta males" while holding up a monocle that covers both eyes.
Morgan Tanner -
Business

Ivanka Trump Advocates for Mexican Immigrants, “They Make Better Handbags Than the Chinese”

First Daughter of the United States, Ivanka Trump says we should bring in more Mexican immigrants because their hands are tougher and make better quality products for her luxury handbag line.
Morgan Tanner -
NEWS

Brain Worm: The Kennedy Parasite Chronicles: Chapter 1 of 3: “The Creek Awakens“

One swim in a toxic creek as a child, and RFK Jr. left with a brain worm and a lifelong Wednesday ritual.
Buck Drayton -
Business

America Ditches Penny, Embraces Half Penny Because Logic Is for Quitters

The U.S. Treasury is replacing the penny with the half penny—because nothing screams innovation like reviving a worthless coin and pretending it’s a step forward.
Jett Monument -
Republican

Trump Declares Looks-Based Breeding Law—Must Be an 8+ to Bang for America

Trump signs order banning “ugly” couples from procreating. Critics call it shallow; he calls it patriotic.
Jett Monument -
Science

“Female Orgasm a Myth”, Says Trump Administration’s Head of Sexual Education and Wellness

Head of Sexual Education and Wellness, Dr. Randy P. Whetstone, says that the female orgasm is fictional nonsense created by the woke mainstream liberal media to make white men feel bad about themselves.
Morgan Tanner -
Science

RFK Jr.’s Brain Worm Not Actually Dead, Speaks to Him Telepathically About Letting Children Contract Measles

Kennedy's brain worm is alive and ready to dominate the greatest country in the world, starting with Texas, the most anti-vaccinated region in the world.
Morgan Tanner -
Politics

Donald Trump Condemns Hillary Clinton for Accepting Political Gifts While Aboard New Boeing 747 from Kelly Ortberg

President Trump says that his acceptance of planes as gifts are hardly against the Constitution because it was written before planes were invented and therefore are exempt.
Morgan Tanner -
123Page 1 of 3
Exclusive

Elon Musk Awarded Custody of 19-Year-Old Barron Trump Just Days After Breakup with President Trump

Just days after their highly publicized breakup, Elon Musk has secured full custody of 19-year-old Barron Trump through a little-known DOGE loophole. The President, blindsided, is reportedly fuming.
Jett Monument -
Republican

Right-Wing Grifter Charlie Kirk Says His Eyes Are So Close Together, He Uses a Monocle For Both Eyes

Alt-right grifter and MAGA youth cultist Charlie Kirk says "glasses are for liberals and beta males" while holding up a monocle that covers both eyes.
Morgan Tanner -
Business

Ivanka Trump Advocates for Mexican Immigrants, “They Make Better Handbags Than the Chinese”

First Daughter of the United States, Ivanka Trump says we should bring in more Mexican immigrants because their hands are tougher and make better quality products for her luxury handbag line.
Morgan Tanner -
NEWS

Brain Worm: The Kennedy Parasite Chronicles: Chapter 1 of 3: “The Creek Awakens“

One swim in a toxic creek as a child, and RFK Jr. left with a brain worm and a lifelong Wednesday ritual.
Buck Drayton -
Business

America Ditches Penny, Embraces Half Penny Because Logic Is for Quitters

The U.S. Treasury is replacing the penny with the half penny—because nothing screams innovation like reviving a worthless coin and pretending it’s a step forward.
Jett Monument -
Republican

Trump Declares Looks-Based Breeding Law—Must Be an 8+ to Bang for America

Trump signs order banning “ugly” couples from procreating. Critics call it shallow; he calls it patriotic.
Jett Monument -
Science

“Female Orgasm a Myth”, Says Trump Administration’s Head of Sexual Education and Wellness

Head of Sexual Education and Wellness, Dr. Randy P. Whetstone, says that the female orgasm is fictional nonsense created by the woke mainstream liberal media to make white men feel bad about themselves.
Morgan Tanner -
Science

RFK Jr.’s Brain Worm Not Actually Dead, Speaks to Him Telepathically About Letting Children Contract Measles

Kennedy's brain worm is alive and ready to dominate the greatest country in the world, starting with Texas, the most anti-vaccinated region in the world.
Morgan Tanner -
Politics

Donald Trump Condemns Hillary Clinton for Accepting Political Gifts While Aboard New Boeing 747 from Kelly Ortberg

President Trump says that his acceptance of planes as gifts are hardly against the Constitution because it was written before planes were invented and therefore are exempt.
Morgan Tanner -
123Page 1 of 3
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Latest News

NEWS

Trump, Hanks, Puffy, and the CEO of Wetzel’s Pretzels All Named in “Epstein List” Released by a Heartbroken Elon Musk

“Donald Trump is nastiest skank bitch l've ever met. Do NOT trust him. He is a fugly slut!” Says Elon after revealing that President Trump in on the Epstein List.
Exclusive

Elon Musk Awarded Custody of 19-Year-Old Barron Trump Just Days After Breakup with President Trump

Just days after their highly publicized breakup, Elon Musk has secured full custody of 19-year-old Barron Trump through a little-known DOGE loophole. The President, blindsided, is reportedly fuming.
NEWS

Brain Worm: The Kennedy Parasite Chronicles: Chapter 2 of 3: “Echoes from Dealey Plaza”

New JFK files reveal Oswald stopped a brain-wormed JFK from launching a world-infecting parasite attack.
Entertainment

Local Man Marries Minecraft Villager After Building Entire City and Abandoning Real Life

After failing to fall in love in real life, one man built a full Minecraft city, married a pixelated villager, and is now undergoing surgery to become more blocky in hopes of finally fitting into a world that isn’t coded to reject him.

DISCLAIMER: This website is a parody and purely satirical. Almost nothing here is true. It’s nearly all made up and should not be taken seriously. Any resemblance to real people and events are either coincidental or hilariously intentional.

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