Apple CEO Tim Cook says that the next iPhone will truly blow the minds of their uses with no new features except for six camera lenses on the back that do absolutely nothing.

Speaker Pelosi has demonstrated a Nostradamus-level of foresight into what stocks will soar and which will tank, leading to a fortune for her and her husband.

Negotiations reportedly stalled until President Trump sent Xi Jinping a $CHINUS mock-up on Truth Social, captioned: “Trade this, Winnie.” Rather than take offense, Xi stunned his delegation by replying with a GIF of himself as a triumphant Winnie the Pooh flexing on top of a Bitcoin chart.

Jeffrey Epstein did not kill himself but simply slipped, wrapped a sheet around his own neck, accidentally fashioned it into a noose, and mistakenly hung it from the ceiling.

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos seems to be on a mission to make his wife look less like a human and more like one of the Muppets.

Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg doesn't see the point in Musk's attempts to make human beings more synthetic. Zuck says he still struggles with understanding things human people do.

After admitting to boosting his PoE2 account by paying a 12-year-old kid from Beijing to play on his behalf, the billionaire says he is ready to continue to lie about it as a full-time career path.

White-Out’s Earth Day makeover has conservatives fuming, claiming the new “Green-Out” formula is part of a larger plot to erase whiteness — both on paper and in society. What was meant to celebrate sustainability is now being labeled “liquid CRT in a bottle.”

Apple CEO Tim Cook says that the next iPhone will truly blow the minds of their uses with no new features except for six camera lenses on the back that do absolutely nothing.

Speaker Pelosi has demonstrated a Nostradamus-level of foresight into what stocks will soar and which will tank, leading to a fortune for her and her husband.

Negotiations reportedly stalled until President Trump sent Xi Jinping a $CHINUS mock-up on Truth Social, captioned: “Trade this, Winnie.” Rather than take offense, Xi stunned his delegation by replying with a GIF of himself as a triumphant Winnie the Pooh flexing on top of a Bitcoin chart.

Jeffrey Epstein did not kill himself but simply slipped, wrapped a sheet around his own neck, accidentally fashioned it into a noose, and mistakenly hung it from the ceiling.

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos seems to be on a mission to make his wife look less like a human and more like one of the Muppets.

Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg doesn't see the point in Musk's attempts to make human beings more synthetic. Zuck says he still struggles with understanding things human people do.

After admitting to boosting his PoE2 account by paying a 12-year-old kid from Beijing to play on his behalf, the billionaire says he is ready to continue to lie about it as a full-time career path.

White-Out’s Earth Day makeover has conservatives fuming, claiming the new “Green-Out” formula is part of a larger plot to erase whiteness — both on paper and in society. What was meant to celebrate sustainability is now being labeled “liquid CRT in a bottle.”