President Biden has officially become the first U.S. leader to run for office as a sentient brain suspended in government-funded Jell-O.

Some victims of the transformation even report wardrobe changes happening subconsciously.

Head of Sexual Education and Wellness, Dr. Randy P. Whetstone, says that the female orgasm is fictional nonsense created by the woke mainstream liberal media to make white men feel bad about themselves.

Kennedy's brain worm is alive and ready to dominate the greatest country in the world, starting with Texas, the most anti-vaccinated region in the world.

Mediocre actress and founder of Goop, Gwyneth Paltrow says that the cure for cancer can be found in the aisles of your local Whole Foods.

RFK Jr. says he doesn't trust the government putting "foreign substances" in his body but if you know where to find "premo Colombian heroin", then that's a different story.

Eggs are back, but prices haven’t cracked. Diners are still paying premium rates while restaurants laugh all the way to the bank.

A new Harvard study finds mouth breathers live longer. The boost in lifespan comes at the cost of romantic invisibility and a face that screams “I still call my mom ‘Mommy.’”

White-Out’s Earth Day makeover has conservatives fuming, claiming the new “Green-Out” formula is part of a larger plot to erase whiteness — both on paper and in society. What was meant to celebrate sustainability is now being labeled “liquid CRT in a bottle.”

President Biden has officially become the first U.S. leader to run for office as a sentient brain suspended in government-funded Jell-O.

Some victims of the transformation even report wardrobe changes happening subconsciously.

Head of Sexual Education and Wellness, Dr. Randy P. Whetstone, says that the female orgasm is fictional nonsense created by the woke mainstream liberal media to make white men feel bad about themselves.

Kennedy's brain worm is alive and ready to dominate the greatest country in the world, starting with Texas, the most anti-vaccinated region in the world.

Mediocre actress and founder of Goop, Gwyneth Paltrow says that the cure for cancer can be found in the aisles of your local Whole Foods.

RFK Jr. says he doesn't trust the government putting "foreign substances" in his body but if you know where to find "premo Colombian heroin", then that's a different story.

Eggs are back, but prices haven’t cracked. Diners are still paying premium rates while restaurants laugh all the way to the bank.

A new Harvard study finds mouth breathers live longer. The boost in lifespan comes at the cost of romantic invisibility and a face that screams “I still call my mom ‘Mommy.’”

White-Out’s Earth Day makeover has conservatives fuming, claiming the new “Green-Out” formula is part of a larger plot to erase whiteness — both on paper and in society. What was meant to celebrate sustainability is now being labeled “liquid CRT in a bottle.”