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Trump Announces Bold Executive Order to Cut Prices of Hard Drugs, Citing “Outrageously High Street Costs”

Trump announced a plan to cut street drug prices with “Patriot Drug Outlets” and TRUMP SPEED meth, leaving experts baffled and critics stunned by the surreal proposal.
Buck Drayton -
Finance

Apple Shares Surge After Tim Cook Reveals Next iPhone Will Have 6 Camera Lenses

Apple CEO Tim Cook says that the next iPhone will truly blow the minds of their uses with no new features except for six camera lenses on the back that do absolutely nothing.
Morgan Tanner -
Politics

Trump Announces Bold Executive Order to Cut Prices of Hard Drugs, Citing “Outrageously High Street Costs”

Trump announced a plan to cut street drug prices with “Patriot Drug Outlets” and TRUMP SPEED meth, leaving experts baffled and critics stunned by the surreal proposal.
Buck Drayton -
Finance

Apple Shares Surge After Tim Cook Reveals Next iPhone Will Have 6 Camera Lenses

Apple CEO Tim Cook says that the next iPhone will truly blow the minds of their uses with no new features except for six camera lenses on the back that do absolutely nothing.
Morgan Tanner -
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Entertainment

Barry Keoghan to Play Ellen DeGeneres in New Biopic “Degenerate”

DeGeneres says Keoghan's performance as Joker in Matt Reeves' The Batman sold her on him taking the role of her life.
Science

“Female Orgasm a Myth”, Says Trump Administration’s Head of Sexual Education and Wellness

Head of Sexual Education and Wellness, Dr. Randy P. Whetstone, says that the female orgasm is fictional nonsense created by the woke mainstream liberal media to make white men feel bad about themselves.
Entertainment

Hilary Duff is Returning to Music After 10 Years, Says Her New Single ‘Heil Hitler’ is Better Than Kanye’s

Disney Channel Original Movie 'My Dog is My Mom' star Hilary Duff says that her song about "Das Führer" is about finding light in the darkness and will uplift the hearts of Agent Cody Banks fans everywhere.
Science

RFK Jr.’s Brain Worm Not Actually Dead, Speaks to Him Telepathically About Letting Children Contract Measles

Kennedy's brain worm is alive and ready to dominate the greatest country in the world, starting with Texas, the most anti-vaccinated region in the world.

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