In a bold move to celebrate Earth Day, the iconic correction fluid White-Out has unveiled a limited-edition “Green-Out” formula made with eco-friendly ingredients and tinted with a subtle leaf-green hue. While environmental groups applauded the effort, several prominent Republican figures condemned the shift, calling it “woke overreach” and “an erasure of traditional white values—literally.”
Senator Clayden Barkley (R-AL) appeared on Fox & Friends Thursday morning to denounce the product, stating, “First they came for the statues, now they’re coming for the office supplies. This is just another attack on the sanctity of white things.”
Barkley went on to suggest that if Green-Out isn’t stopped, “we’ll soon be living in a country where even typo correction has a diversity quota.”
The backlash quickly gained momentum online, with hashtags like #WhiteOutMatters, #StopTheGreenAgenda, and #KeepCorrectionFluidPure trending among conservative users. One viral Truth Social post read: “Green-Out? What’s next, rewriting history with Crayola’s Multicultural crayons?”
In response, the manufacturer released a statement clarifying that the original White-Out formula is still available, but added, “While we understand that change can be difficult, especially for those emotionally attached to traditional office fluid colors, we believe in correcting mistakes—on paper and on the planet.”
Despite the uproar, sales of Green-Out have surged, particularly among coastal liberals, reusable tote bag enthusiasts, and passive-aggressive coworkers who see it as a way to fix both typos and the climate crisis in one smug stroke.
Tucker Carlson dedicated an entire segment of Tucker Tonight to the controversy, pacing in front of a chalkboard labeled “THE ERASURE AGENDA,” while holding up a dripping bottle of Green-Out.
“Let me ask you something,” he sneered. “If White-Out isn’t white anymore… what else are they coming to correct? Your kids? Your guns? Your mayonnaise?”
He concluded with a dire warning: “Today it’s correction fluid. Tomorrow it’s your printer ink identifying as non-binary. And then — then we’re going to have to learn how to spell again. On our own. Like animals.”
